Page 33 of Never Gonna Lie
RAVEN
Iwas actually starting to enjoy myself and the evening until he opened his perfect, stupid mouth, and now all I want to do is punch him. But I can’t deny the way my heart shriveled and died at his words.
I manage to find a deserted corridor and lean against the wall, willing my tears to subside. My breath comes out in low pants, my chest feeling like it's caving in on me as I try to rein in my heartbreak.
This isn’t the time or the place for a mental breakdown, Raven.
The worst part is that he’s never going to see me as anything other than Raven, Drew’s daughter, even after what happened at my parents’ house. Wanting a man who has no inclination toward me romantically stings.
I can’t keep doing this. The man’s level of confusion is wreaking havoc with my brain. I’m embarrassed to admit that deep down I thought he’d changed his mind, that he’d called and was using my dad as an excuse. But boy, how wrong was I?
Sadness seeps its way into my bones, and more tears collect along my waterline. Quickly brushing them away before they fall anymore, I take a deep breath in and straighten my spine.
Walking back, I stand in front of the table, my hands playing with the hair band on my wrist. James’s face a mixture of concern and dejection as I say, “I think I’d like to leave. You can report back to my dad that you did your duty and never have to see me again.”
To be fair, he looks genuinely upset as he utters, “I’m sorry, pretty girl. Can we start again?”
The way I’m feeling right now, the last thing I want to do is stay and make small talk; I think I’d rather stick pins in my eyes. “I’m a big girl now, James. I don’t need babysitting.” I force a smile even though tears blur my vision.
He opens and closes his mouth like he’s trying to find the right words. Finally, he says, “Things between us have… changed somewhat, and I’d like to get back to how it was before. Us being friends.”
I hear my heart shatter before I feel it. Giving another forced smile because, apparently, that’s all I’m capable of doing, I pick my bag up from the booth and say, “Thank you for this… enlightening evening. I’ll see you around.”
As quickly as I can, I make my way to the front entrance, hoping Danny’s still out front. I pray with everything that I have that James runs after me, that he declares his love for me like they do in books and movies, but it doesn’t happen. The further I walk away, the harder my tears fall.
As soon as I see the car, a sob I was so desperately holding in escapes me, and I practically run to get to it. Danny holds the door open, and I slide in, buckling my seatbelt and trying not to crumble completely.
Getting into the driver’s seat, he looks in the rearview mirror. “Everything okay, Miss Carter?” he asks, concern filling his gaze.
I give him a small watery smile. “Yes, thank you. If you could just take me home, Danny, that would be great.”
I don’t wait for his reply before turning my gaze out the window, noticing the front door of the restaurant opening, and James rushing out. My heart leaps in my chest before I realize it’s not to chase afterme,it’s to chase after Raven, hisfriend. But it’s too little too late.
Danny begins driving away as the tears continue to slide down my cheeks.
Chapter Twenty-Two
RAVEN
TWO MONTHS LATER
It’s been a couple of months since I’ve seen or heard from James. Dad stopped forcing us together, and for that I’m glad. He doesn’t mention James during our weekly catch-ups, and the couple of times I’ve been home for various reasons, James has never been there. It’s like he never existed. Part of me feels devastated by the loss, but the other part of me knows I need to move on.
How do you stop loving a man you’ve loved your entire life? If there’s a switch to make it happen, then I’d love to know because there’s no other man for me, James Smith is my person, theone, he’ll just never know it.
More than once, I’ve wondered why he was so invested in seeing me the night he called to have dinner. Was it purely because my dad was asking? Or did James have his own ulterior motives that he refused to accept? But then I got a headache from the possible scenarios I wasconcocting in my head and knew I needed to stop. So now, anytime James crops up in my head, I shove him to the side so quickly, I get dizzy from it.
The doorbell of the coffee shop rings, and I hear a voice call out, “Hi, Raven. Do you ever have a day off?”
I turn around at the voice, smiling. “Lauren, hi. How are you? And yes, I have the odd day off… sometimes,” I laugh. “The usual?”
“Yes, please.”
After telling Lauren to go and sit down, I make her coffee before pouring my own. It’s early on a Sunday morning, not a single customer in sight, so I decide to take my break hours before it’s due, grabbing our coffees and sitting down with her.
We catch up about mundane things, but I can tell something's eating away at her. I finally cave and give her the look—the one moms always give to their children when they’re acting up.
Lauren chuckles. “I’m that easy to read, huh?”
