Page 99 of Sour Lollipops and Sweet Nightmares
“Come on,” she muttered, defeated.
Now I felt bad. Rachel bringing me here was no different than what I’d been doing to her all week. I wanted her to know that she had more than beauty to offer the world, which was whyI encouraged her to study so much. She was simply trying to help me in her own way. While her methods weren’t the best, her intentions were good.
“No,” I sighed. “We can stay.”
She looked at me with hope glittering in her eyes. “Really?”
I nodded. Only an asshole could deny that look on her face.
“Yay!” She jumped up and threw her arms around me. “We are going to have so much fun.”
If she thought panic attacks and sweaty palms were fun, then sure.
We weren’t even inside yet, and my breathing was already labored. This whole thing would’ve been easier to handle if I didn’t feel like I was on display. We were getting looks from the people here, especially the men. I didn’t like it. I wanted my cardigan and glasses. No one looked at me when I had those on.
“People are staring at us,” I whispered as Rachel led me up the steps to the door.
“That’s because we look hot.”
I didn’t want to look hot or desirable in any way. That was inviting unwanted attention. However, once we were inside, I did try to loosen up and have fun for Rachel’s sake. Or at least I tried to fake having fun.
Every time Rachel introduced me to someone, I would smile and greet them back. I even worked up the courage to shake one guy’s hand. But my efforts were in vain. Almost everyone we talked to cut the conversation short, or they asked if I was okay. I wasn’t sure if it was my smile or greeting that threw them off, but since it was pretty hard to say the word hello wrong, I was going to assume it was the smile.
Needless to say, I was not the hit of the party, which was perfectly fine with me.
Rachel, on the other hand, fit in flawlessly. What caused me so much anxiety was effortless for her. She could converse andlaugh with complete strangers like they were best friends. It was fascinating watching her float from one group to another. But it also made me wonder how sincere her friendship with me was.
Did Rachel genuinely like me? Did I truly like her?
Trust didn’t come easily for me. Everyone who paid attention to me had a motive. Whether it was for a prank, help with schoolwork, or some other way I could entertain or benefit them. No one talked to me just because. It made it hard to take people at face value. Sometimes I couldn’t even trust my own mother.
Seeing Rachel so easily switch personalities didn’t make me feel any better about her. Which version of her was the real one? Was it the Rachel I knew? The one who shot a dirty look at that girl across the room? Or was it the one who batted her eyes at men? Maybe it was a combination of the three? Maybe it was none of them? Maybe I didn’t know Rachel at all.
“This is Georgia,” Rachel waved her hand at me before smiling at some guy in a red shirt.
“Hello, Georgia,” he sang while raking his gaze down me.
I reared back from his way too sensual stare. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”
After my various meetings with Kash, it was imperative to clarify that right away. I thought it was a sensible choice given how he was looking at me.
Rachel did not.
“Don’t mind Georgia,” She giggled awkwardly. “She’s shy and can be a little awkward.”
I wasn’t shy. I was uncomfortable. If Rachel were truly my friend, she would know that. Not that she would care if she did, Rachel was too busy pawing at red shirt’s arm to notice anything.
“I like awkward.” He shot me a wink and slung his arm over Rachel’s shoulders. “What do you say we take this party to a more private location?”
Rachel batted her lashes up at him. “That sounds great. Doesn’t it, Georgia?”
“No.” Did she seriously just ask me that?
“Oh, come on,” Rachel argued. “It’ll be fun.”
No, it wouldn’t. Suddenly, being around Rachel felt like a bad idea. If she thought she could talk me into a private party with red shirt, what else was she going to try to convince me to do?
I stepped back and bumped into someone, which caused me to bump into someone else, and then someone else. The crowd around me suddenly became extremely suffocating. Everywhere I looked, there were more eyes, staring and judging me.
