Page 64 of Relapse
Say you’re a bad person without saying you’re a bad person.
Sighing, I tipped my chin to Mason’s closed eyes. He looked so peaceful and serene that for a second I forgot about the monster I created and only saw the little boy I lost. I missed him. So much so that my chest ached when my hand lifted to reach out and sweep a lock of chestnut hair off his face.
I just wanted to touch him one last time. Feel the heat of his skin warm my hands like it used to when we were kids.
My hand stopped, so close that my fingers could almost graze his forehead.
We weren’t kids anymore, and no amount of wishful thinking could fix what I did. The only fantasy I could hope for now was keeping the people I cared about safe. Meaning, no matter how desperately I wanted to reach out for that little boy, I couldn’t. It was better if he stayed gone.
I quickly tucked my arm into my chest.
Mason didn’t want me touching him anyways. He didn’t want me near him. That much had been made perfectly clear over the years.
So, why was he here?
My brow cocked at the broad chest rhythmically rising and falling. Was this just another way to humiliate me? When Mason woke up he’d tell me how pathetic I was compared to the girl he was with last night.
It was probably Tiffany. Stupid Tiffany with her perfect smile and pretty face that boys always wanted to be around. It wasn’t like I wanted the attention she got, but…
My eyes trickled over Mason’s plump bottom lip.
“Would one kiss be so bad?”
My heart stopped dead in my chest when a green eye creaked open, pulling the room in around me as the lid slowly lifted.
Please tell me he didn’t hear.
“Depends on where the kiss is.”
I could feel the mortification pouring through me into my bones. Especially when Mason rolled his eyes my way.
“I wouldn’t complain if you sucked my dick.”
My jaw dropped. He did not just say that. I’m not sure why I was surprised. He was always saying stuff like that. Didn’t mean anything. It was just another way to poke fun at me. When he reached down to slip his hand in his boxers, I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.
“What do you say, Freckles?” The way his bicep flexed as a soft groan escaped his lips was enough to make me shut my eyes tight. “Wanna help me get rid of this morning hard on?”
I whimpered and tried to press my body further into the mattress. Mason wouldn’t really make me do anything, would he?
“Ugh,” he grumbled. “You’re fucking useless.”
While I was a tad hurt, I was also thankful for the distinct slap of elastic hitting skin that told me he’d stopped doing what he was doing. At least I thought I was thankful? That day in the bathroom, I’d been too afraid to look, but a big part of me wondered what he would’ve looked like when he reached orgasm. Did it hurt in that moment? Did he like it? Did he like me?
“What the fuck are you doing in my room anyways?”
Guess not.
Confusion caused my eyes to flutter open as I whispered, “I-I’m not.”
How much did he drink last night?
“Oh,” Mason swung his eyes back to the headboard, then closed them and sighed. “Right.”
A voice in the back of my head screamed at me to run away now, before he was fully alert. Unfortunately, my body refused to move. All I could do when he lifted his arms to fold his hands behind his head was lay there like a lump.
I just stayed there, staring at someone I shouldn’t be, while praying that I’d be granted the use of my limbs. How sad was that? Couldn’t even force myself to hide from danger.
I was useless.
