Page 29 of Relapse
My world didn’t have many comforting people in it. My brother, Lana, and now Star. My governess was a stern woman – Sean often referred to her as Drill Sergeant – but she was one of the few that didn’t hurt me.
It was strange not hearing her scuttle about my room. Once, when I was about ten, she came down with a really bad flu. For a week I didn’t see her. That’s when I learned not to pester Daddy.
He got annoyed with my constant questions about how she was doing. I spent the last three days of that week in bed, recovering from the repercussions. Maybe she was sick again?
That’s when I remembered, Mrs. Benson wasn’t here.
She wasn’t waking me up because I wasn’t in my room. There was no safe place where I could tuck myself away in this house. I was in the lion’s den.
The ravenous beasts were everywhere, tucked in the corners and halls, waiting for me to come out of the shadow I was hiding in, and I was the prey desperately searching for a means of escape. But I wouldn’t find one.
That was proven by the guard standing outside my door. I tried to leave last night and was met with Marco’s intense glare. That man terrified me when we were kids, lurking around with hulking muscles and an evil stare.
He reminded me of the villains in the cartoons I watched. That feeling didn’t get any better as I aged. So when I opened the door and saw him standing there, I quickly shut it again.
Over the years I’d become good at seeking out safe places. Cupboards and forgotten rooms I could hide in. So I knew deep in my bones that it was safer alone in this room than it was out there with them.
I pushed myself up and trickled my gaze around my gilded cage. When I first stepped in here, I panicked. The black marble flooring and the light oaken furniture made me think this was Mason’s room. It’d been awhile since I’d been in this house.
Back then, his bedroom was full of toys, a car bed and other little boy things. It was also next to his parent’s room. But everyone at Ashworth knew the day Mason was given his own wing of Oakleigh Manor. It was kind of hard to miss the party announcements plastered all over the halls.
That was the day my entire world shifted. For the first time in years, I didn’t know what his room looked like. I didn’t even know where it was. Sometimes, when I saw him walking down the halls at school, I tried to imagine what it would look like.
How had his tastes changed or matured over the years. But all I could see was the red car bed we used to play Hungry, Hungry Hippos on.
Even if I could envision where Mason Kessler the man slept, it wouldn’t be in a place like this. This was bare and vacant of any hint of personality. There wasn’t so much as a picture on the dresser, armoire, or desk. It was so opposite from the boy I knew.
I got that teenage boys were different from girls, but even Sean had personal touches. Posters hanging on his wall, movies in his bookshelf, and a quilt our mother made him. Aside from the large stone fireplace on the other side of the room, there was nothing in here to warm the atmosphere. Had I broken Mason that bad? This place was so cold and unloved.
Like me.
All I wanted to do was curl up and go back to sleep. Maybe I’d wake up and miraculously be free of the nightmare I was trapped in. I needed Alice’s white rabbit to lead me away, but I wasn’t in a fairy tale. I was in reality.
The only tea parties here would be the ones that served my tears and misery. Some would call it vengeance, I preferred penance. After all, Karma always got what was coming to her.
That didn’t make it any easier to control my nerves when a knock echoed through my room from the hall. I sat there holding my breath while the door slowly swung open. As much as I would love to stay hidden in my hole, I knew Mason wouldn’t leave me alone. He never did. But it wasn’t his green eyes I was met with.
My entire body froze the second a familiar dark glare locked on me. I held my breath as someone so much worse strode in. If Mason was a monster, then his older brother was the devil. Micha’s eyes pinned me in place as he walked in. I couldn’t do anything but sit there and feel each long determined step of his jean clad legs vibrate through my chest.
Why was he here?
For the most part he ignored me – which I was more than fine with. There was a saying at Ashworth, don’t mess with the little Kessler or the head would bite back. The head, in this case, was Micha. How Riley handled him I had no idea. Then again, she scared me too.
“Hello Harper.” He stopped in the middle of the room and crossed his arms. “I hope you slept well.”
No he didn’t. I could tell that much by the scowl on his face. In fact, I was pretty sure he’d be happy to find me sleeping on a bed of broken glass, suspended over an active volcano.
“I did, thank you,” I nodded.
Why was I being polite? Well, when one was faced with the devil, rudeness probably wasn’t the best way to go.
I waited for Micha to say something. Maybe explain while he was here? He didn’t. Not a single peep escaped his mouth as he stood there staring me down. The air grew dense with silence. So thick that I could feel it seeping into my bones, tightening my muscles. The only thing I did get was a slight jaw tick when I pulled the blankets up to my chin.
As much as Micha did hate me, we did have one thing in common. I loved Mason once. I’d have sacrificed anything for that green-eyed little boy, including my integrity. Then again, maybe I never had any to begin with.
What kind of person does that to someone they love? It wasn’t even that hard to do. A simple action that would forever change both of our lives was no harder than taking a breath.
It was the guilt that followed that crushed my soul.
