Page 88 of Cinder
Bone tired, I fall into bed.
Ella will be back here in a few hours for her shift.
And all I can think about is finding her and telling her that I’ve changed my mind.
CHAPTER 40
Ella
The following morning,I arrive at the clubhouse early and get straight to work so by the time Mrs. V. appears in the kitchen, I’m already halfway through my chores. Coffee pot on. Egg mix ready for the breakfast scramble and hash. Dinner pies made and in the refrigerator. Potatoes peeled for dinner.
“Okay, who are you and where is my usual kitchenhand,” she says, walking past me to put her purse in the pantry.
“Huh?” I murmur, preoccupied with buttering toast.
“The one who burns water and doesn’t know her salt from her pepper.”
Oh, her.
Yeah, she evaporated in a cloud of humiliation.
“Just doing my job,” I say, adding more butter to the toast.
I figure if I keep focused, I won’t feel like a fucking fool for practically begging Lars to deflower me last night. My stomach twists at the memory as I recall it with vivid detail. Me grinding against him, telling him I want him to be my first.And the crushing rejection that followed.
My cheeks burn, and I practically degut the slice of toast I am buttering with violent strokes.
“What did it ever do to you?” Mrs. V. asks, watching the toast massacre.
“Huh?” I ask, and when she points to the mess I’ve made, I put the knife down.Dammit. “I’m sorry, I’ll make some more.”
Mrs. V. waves me off. “Let me do it. You clearly have something else on your mind. What is it?”
“Nothing,” I say, moving away from the counter so she can take over.
She holds up a piece of toast that dangles in pieces from her fingers. “Doesn’t look like nothing. What has that boy gone and done now?”
My eyes dart to her. “Who?”
She gives me a pointed look. “Don’t pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about. I might be old, but I’ve got eyes and ears, and I can see what’s going on between you and Lars.”
I begin to unpack the freshly delivered pastries box and place them on a big plate. Bear claws. Glazed. Double fudge. These will be gone by midmorning. “There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Lars.”
I want you to be my first.
Ugh, that’s going to haunt me until the end of time.
“Like I said, I have eyes and ears, and I know that boy hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off you since you started. And don’t think I don’t know that’s why he hired you. Stupid fool was obviously thinking with his little brain when he offered you the job. But at least this time he got it right. You’re a good worker and having you here might just work out.”
I can’t believe it. The grumpy old boot is actually being nice to me. An unfamiliar warmth spreads through me, and I give her a big smile. “That’s the first nice thing you’ve said to me, Mrs. V. Don’t tell me you’re getting soft in your old?—”
“I’d think very carefully about how you finish that sentence,” she warns as she finishes buttering the toast. She bends down to put them in the oven to keep them warm before people start showing up for breakfast. When she straightens, she brings her attention back to me. “Truth be told, I have never seen Lars show any interest in any woman for more than an evening. Never thought I would see the day that he would pursue one, let alone fall for one.”
“Oh, he hasn’t fallen for me.”
I don’t want to be anyone’s anything.
His words ring in my ears.
