Page 84 of Cinder
“Hey,” he says, grabbing my hand. “This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. You deserve better than this.”
But I can’t look at him because I’m embarrassed.
“This is something special, Little Cinder. Give it to someone who can give you something special in return.”
I want to tell him that this was my last chance of special. Because I won’t be here next week. That I’ll either be married to a brutal crime lord, or dead trying to stamp out the evil stain that is my half-brother. I want him to know that we only have now. This moment. Because the future is not an option. But I can’t tell him the truth because he will do something crazy stupid like confront my brother. Or worse, confront Viktor. The Knights are a big club, but the Morettis and the Olicheckoffs together are bigger. A lot of blood would be spilled.
My skin cools, and I feel the humiliation crawl all over me.
I try to walk away, but Lars pulls me back by my hand. “What’s going on, Ella?”
I know what he is asking.
Who are you?
But I yank my hand free. “I’m no one.”
And feeling my cheeks burn, I walk away.
CHAPTER 39
Lars
Ella flees my room.
I try to stop her, but she makes it crystal clear she wants to be left alone.
But I’m not ready to let her walk off and think the worst. That somehow, she isn’t the perfection she is just because some battle-tired biker doesn’t want to take something so precious from someone so beautiful.
I start after her. But in the worst timing in the world, Beast calls me. Bear, Axe and Ryder have pulled over a truck, and I need to get thereASAP.
Fuck.
I run down to my bike and tear out of the clubhouse grounds, roaring into the dark night.
I need to get focused. Think about what I am riding into. But during the ride, all I can think about is Ella. About the look of hurt on her face and the humiliation burning brightly in her eyes.
And it guts me.
I want to tell her why I choose the club over having a relationship. Why I will only ever touch a woman with the sole purpose of making us both come and nothing more. Because this club is everything to me, and loving someone else would mean I can’t be the enforcer the Knights need me to be. Focused and available, and putting the club before all others.
And Ella deserves to be put before everything else.
But I can’t give her that.
My fingers tighten around the handlebars of my bike to the point of pain.
I grit my teeth and push on through the darkness, increasing my speed and trying to force Ella out of my head.
Up ahead in my headlight, I see a truck pulled over to the side of the road. Across from it, parked on the grass, is the sheriff’s cruiser and three parked Harleys.
I pull in behind them and climb off my bike.
Walking toward the truck, I glance over and see three men on their knees with their hands behind their heads.
Beast walks over to me.
“What’s this?” I gesture to the truck. “More guns?”
