Page 97 of Second Chances
“No! No, I didn’t —” Beth began to plead, but cut off as Darcy raised his hand, indicating for her to stop.
“You didn’t? How can I believe you? Our very first interactions seem to have been built on secrets and lies. She certainly knows about Caroline now and if you didn’t tell her, who did? Caroline? I doubt that would help Caroline’s case very much, knowing what Cathy’s hopes are,” he scoffed. “No, Beth, I don’t know what you think it is, but what I think you did is nothing short of betrayal.”
“I didn’t mean to, please, Darcy,” she begged, “I’m so sorry. Please, just let me explain.”
“God, part of me wants to, Beth, it really does, but the other part of me knows that if I don’t leave here now, I’m going to be in worse shape than I was six years ago,” he admitted painfully, the anger repressed by the pain of her betrayal.
“Please… I love you,” she whispered, thickly, one last time.
Tears washed her face at his ironic laugh that responded to her words.
“That’s the worst part; that’s thefuckingworst part.” The sadness in his laugh that followed tore right through her. “I loved you and I believed that you loved me too because I could see that you were nothing likeher,but I was wrong to think that that was going to work out better for me. At least with her, I knew where she stood, even though I chose not to believe it for a long time. But you, Ibelievedyou when you told me where you stood, when you told me you loved me, and now, I realize that even with every reason to trust you, I shouldn't have. No, believing that you cared about me only to learn that you did this is athousand fucking times worsethan anything that Caroline ever did.”
A sob escaped her, her hands coming up too late to cover her mouth. His words tore through her like a hot knife through butter.
God, everything that he said was true.
“I’m sorry…” she choked out.
“Goodbye, Beth,” he replied, his voice devoid of all emotion.
She watched in agony as the stony mask that had ruled his face when they had first met began to rebuild itself over his achingly beautiful features. She watched, through watery eyes, as Darcy turned and walked toward the curb where his car was waiting and climbed in, leaving her standing there, frozen in place with desolation, as the tears rolled down her cheeks in droves.
What had she done?
What was she going to do?
And then, her mind went blank; maybe it was from the stressful over-thinking of the Caroline situation this past whole week, or maybe it was from the all-consuming devastation of losing the man that she loved, the irony of which was not lost on her - losing the love of her life, not because of the woman she viewed as the most obvious threat to her happiness, but because of the woman she had thought the least -herself.Regardless of the reason, the next thing Beth was cognizant of doing was climbing into her old bed in Jane’s apartment. She didn’t know how she got there, or what had happened after Darcy had left; all she knew was that when she woke tomorrow morning she’d pray it would be to realize that this was all a bad dream.
“Beth?”Jane’s soft knocking pulled Beth from her slumber.
She peeled her tear-stained face off of her pillow just as Jane opened the door, concern immediately flooding her sister’s eyes.
“What happened? Are you ok? You disappeared last night and I assumed you left with Darcy, but then I got home and found you here…”
Beth groaned as she pulled herself up to sit in bed, still wearing her clothes from last night.
“I’m sorry,” she answered hoarsely.
Her mind fought the inevitable reality that last night was real, last night happened, last night she lost Darcy.
“What happened?”
“Fought with Darcy; it’s over,” her voice cracking on the last.
“What? Why?! I thought knowing about Caroline was going to make things easier, I don’t understand.”
“I betrayed him, Jane; it’s my fault,” she admitted in defeat, feeling her eyes try to muster up more tears, unsuccessful in their attempt as she had apparently used them all last night.
“What do you mean?”
“I betrayed him. I spied on him for Mrs. DeBourgh months ago right after we first met. She hired me to do her PR, but it was only because of the proximity that I had to dad’s firm while he was in talks with Charles…and Darcy. I told her everything I knew about why he was here, what he was doing, where he was going and who with,” she paused, laughing in disgust at herself. “You know how much he irritated me at first, so, I didn’t care. But then, I started to fall for him, and realize how ridiculous she was, so I stopped.”
“Oh, Beth, how could…” Jane stopped, realizing that chastising her sister wasn’t what she needed right now. “The point is that you stopped though.”
“A point that gets lost in the fact that I never ended up telling him about it; which makes it look like I was trying to keep it from him this whole time that I’ve been berating him for not being open with me.”
“Ok, but that’s not what happened. You didn’t purposefully keep it from him. Why wouldn’t he want to believe that? Why would he want to believe… whoever told him…over you? Who did tell him?”
