Page 75 of Second Chances
~I’ll see you soon.
- Can’t wait. God, how I miss you, gorgeous.
Before she could stop it, her mind wondered if he used to say that to Caroline and she instantly felt the piercing sting slicing through her heart. She didn’t even know how to feel - hurt, angry, upset, grateful?
Not now, Beth.
Stepping into the elevator, she let out a shaky sigh safe in the knowledge that she would have the apartment to herself when it arrived at its destination.
Beth stopped short, crossing the threshold into the apartment, the extreme silence inside a stark contrast to the deafening commotion of the thoughts inside her head clamoring for attention. In a fog, she set her things down, walking into the kitchen to grab a water bottle before returning to the entryway, unsure of where to go; the bedroom was too passionate, the living room, too open, and the office was Darcy’s space. Somehow, she wound up at the end of the hall, gingerly placing her hand on the doorknob to Darcy’s studio. She didn’t know what drew her to this room; she hadn’t even been back inside it since that night, but she knew that Darcy hadn’t locked it since then. Confirmed by the full extension of the handle, Beth opened the door into his sanctuary.
She felt a twinge of guilt, as though she was invading his privacy, but for some reason, in here, she felt an immeasurable sense of intimacy and clarity. Here, she felt that there were no barriers between her and Darcy. Or maybe, she ended here because she was searching, searching for any reciprocating sign of Caro in Darcy’s work. Her eyes began to scan the works scattered along the sides of the room before her mind told her she was foolish for doing so.
Now is not the time.
Sitting on the couch, she closed her eyes, remembering for a moment the last time she had sat here. It brought her back to why she had been sitting there in the first place - because Caro had approached Darcy at Renée’s party.
Everything made so much more sense now. Why Caro had approached her first, why she’d questioned her about her date, why she felt like Caro had been continually watching her, and why Darcy had needed to leave right away - not just because he was angry and in shock, but because every moment longer they stayed, brought a greater chance of Beth finding out the connection between Caro and Darcy.
Staring off into the room, Beth’s eyes opened to all of the ramifications of what she had just learned. It was no wonder that Darcy had been insistent on trying to deal with Caro on his own and resisting any suggestion of obtaining some sort of restraining order. Even now, Beth struggled with how to tell Jane. What would have happened if she did pursue legal action? What would that have done to Jane, to their relationship? To her relationship with Charles, knowing that their sisters could never be in the same place at the same time?
Even now, how were they supposed to be in the same place? In the same wedding?
God, this is so fucked up.
She wanted to scream. She wanted to be mad at Darcy for his relationship with Caro, for not telling her.
Everyone has a past; stop being jealous and self-conscious.
He should have told me.
Should he? Look at where you are now; look at what you are going to have to put Jane through.
“Beth?”
Her head jerked up, blinking a few times until Darcy was in focus. This was the first time she’d been so consumed with her thoughts that even her body’s response to him had been muted.
“Beth, what’s wrong?” he asked urgently, walking intently over to her and kneeling in front of her.
Beth couldn't even find the words to speak; she didn’t know where to start. Everything felt like a daze around her; Darcy’s concerned face morphing into Caro’s representation of it. She quickly shut her eyes and turned her face away.
Darcy raised both of his hands to grasp her face, his thumbs wiping away tears she hadn’t known were even falling. Beth bit her lip, frustrated as more of them forced their way through her closed eyelids and down her cheeks.
“What’s wrong, Beth? What is it?” Darcy asked again, his voice hard as granite, fearing the worst.
Taking a deep breath, Beth opened her glazed eyes to him again.
“It’s her, Darcy,” she whispered. “It’s Caroline.”
The second or two that followed seemed to pass in slow motion. Beth watched as every emotion painstakingly took its turn crossing Darcy’s face.
First, the slight furrow of confusion in his brow dissolving as the realization that Beth finally knew became clear. His muscles tensing and contorting with a mixture of pain and anger that burned in his gaze; a gaze that left hers only a moment later, but not before she saw the hint of shame breaking through his rigid composure.
“How did you find out?” he asked, his words low and harsh, breaking through the trance-like shock brought on by her admission.
“I don’t…does it matter?” she whispered, pained by the memory.
“I swear to God, if she fucking did something to you…”he swore vehemently, his hand moving under her chin, forcing her to look at him.
