Page 101 of Second Chances
It had been a slow process, but knowing hardly anyone in the city made it easier for her to shut herself off. She didn’t turn cold and callous like Darcy had after Caroline left him, but her warmth and cordiality was only skin deep. She was determined not to let anyone in ever again.
That had been four months ago. Now, she struggled with the notion that her resolve had begun to crack.
It had been slow at first, which is probably why she hadn’t noticed how much it had progressed until now. It had started with a simple “How are you today?” Every day since her training period had ended, Colin would stop in her office each morning and ask how she was doing, obviously concerned about her after whatever it was that she’d been through. He’d seen her and worked with her most days during her training and even a blind person could tell that something traumatic had happened.
At some point, a small, pleasant conversation began to follow; they talked about trivial things like the weather, work, and how she was enjoying Boston. A slow trickle of information exchanged before they then moved on to their normal work day.
At first.
As the weeks passed, that conversation grew longer and went deeper than the simple, superficial ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ It was slow; it felt natural like a spigot slowly being turned allowing the hesitant trickle of information to become a consistent and steady flow. Maybe, subconsciously, a part of her deep down was looking for a friend, someone to connect with after four months of solitary confinement. In spite of herself and the walls she was trying to build, she’d begun to open up a little about what had happened with Darcy. Thankfully, Colin never pushed the subject, never asked questions; he just listened and acknowledged her, knowing that anything more would push her right back onto the other side of her cozy wall.
The morning chats soon began to involve Colin bringing her a cup of coffee.They also began to involve her calling him Col.If, for whatever reason, he didn’t stop by, Beth knew it was because he just wasn’t coming into the center that day.
Coffee meant that their conversations lengthened even more; Col would sit in her office and talk to her while he finished his morning cup of Joe. There were a few times when Beth had been concerned about the forty-five-minute delayed start to her workday… every day. But, he was the boss, what was she going to say?
That’s where she was at right now – comfortably and complacently alone, enjoying her few minutes every morning of the semblance of meaningful human interaction; it was enough to get her by and right now that’s all she wanted.
But you can’t always get what you want.
Sometimes, she felt like she must be doomed to always learn that the hard way.
Yesterday had started like every other day for the past however many weeks – the concept of time was beginning to fade as it became less and less important to her.
Tea, then work, then Colin and coffee… except it hadn’t been the normal Colin and coffee. He’d come into her office on edge and nervous. She’d been working there a decent amount of time, and she’d seen him almost every day over that decent amount of time, which meant that she’d seen him on edge before. Whether it was from work stuff or things with the clinic, he would knock on her door irritated or frustrated, but always eager to talk to her and share with her, sometimes wanting her opinion, other times just wanting an ear to listen.
This time was different.
This time he was nervous; he was anxious about whatever he’d come in there wanting to talk about and that should have been the first warning sign.
“Do you have a minute?” he’d asked her. It was an odd question because they literally talked every morning – of course, she had a minute; she stopped scheduling things between eight and eight-forty-five.
“Of course,” Beth replied, hesitantly. “Is everything ok?” She really was starting to get concerned.
What if she wasn’t doing her job well enough? What if she’d made a mistake? What if he had to fire her?
“Oh yeah, yeah,” he over-eagerly tried to reassure her. “Everything is completely fine – more than fine even. Yup, going great.”
“Ok…” she drawled. “So, what’s going on then?”
“Oh, not much. How are you this morning?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee that was still too hot. Beth watched as he winced, pulling away from the cup and the liquid that had burned his tongue.
“I’m ok,” she began. If he wasn’t going to come out with it, she wasn’t going to pry. “Just trying to get everything squared away as far as the upcoming events for the clinic so that it’s not too crazy while I’m gone for Jane’s wedding.”
Colin’s lips pursed as he nodded his head. Even though he responded, Beth could tell that there was something he wanted to say – something that was on the tip of his tongue that he was just struggling to get out.
“Actually, there were a couple of things that I wanted to go over—” Beth continued before he cut her off.
“What are you doing Friday night?” His words coming out in a rush, as though they’d just been able to narrowly escape the confines of his mouth.
The question alone should have been her second warning.
But, she’d been so closed off for so long now out of necessity for her sanity and survival, the thought of someone wanting to pursue a deeper relationship with her was about as foreign of an idea to her as microeconomics.
She paused for a second to think, with no sign that she understood the implications of the question or her answer. “Most likely nothing,” Beth replied, chewing her lip.She wasn’t doing anything – she never was.“Do you need me to do something? Is there an event that you want me to attend or cover? I can be available.” She continued at his slight hesitation to respond.
“Woah…” Col laughed, nervously. “I don’tneedyou to do anything.” His eyes broke from hers as he looked down at his still steaming coffee for a second before meeting her gaze again. “I wouldlikeyou to go to dinner with me.”
She’d missed all the signs, all the warnings that said this was coming.
