Page 69 of Third Time is the Charm
She drank the last of the coffee in her cup, setting it down a little too harshly on the counter. The noise caused Darcy to look up sharply at her.
She didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s ok,” she said quickly, her voice thick with emotion. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s fine.” She wrapped her towel tightly around her. “I guess I should go get ready for work then.”
Beth stood to walk around the counter, needing to put some space between them.
“Beth...”She heard him curse coming up behind her. His hand grabbed onto her arm, spinning her towards him.
She didn’t even bother to try to hide the tears that had stained her face.
“Christ,” he uttered again, his hand coming up to cup her face, his thumbs trying to erase the moisture that had tainted it. She didn’t say a word, trying to control her breathing so that it didn’t come out as choppy as it wanted to. “I’m sorry, gorgeous,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. It’s not… I don’t want you to think…” He growled. His words weren’t coming out the way that he wanted them to.
Beth tried to pull her face from him. For a second his hands tightened on her before releasing to let her move freely.
“It was Megan,” he rasped.
She’d barely begun to turn her head from him, but at his words, it snapped back to him with inquisitive attentiveness.
“Who’s Megan?” she asked, remembering that that was the same person that had texted him the night that she had left. She also had a feeling that it was the same person who he’d been on the phone with in his room at the Castle Hotel.
Beth felt a twisting in her stomach, the uncomfortable pain that stung like jealousy. She’d convinced herself that he couldn’t have been seeing someone else – not after what everyone had said and not after everything that had and was happening between them, but still, the feeling spread through her like a cancer, infecting every cell of her with doubt as she waited for him to answer.
Just when she thought he wasn’t going to answer again, his eyes shut tightly and he replied, “She’s been helping me.”
“Helping you how? Helping you do what?” she asked again, her voice thick with the confused emotions that spread through her.
She waited because he was answering her; he was struggling to do it – it was painful for him, that much was clear – but he was going it.For her.
“When you left, Charles introduced me to her so that she could help me,” he began.
Help him what? Forget her?
“Notlike that,” he continued harshly, seeing the question written all over her face. “She’s a therapist, Beth. She’s my therapist.”
Beth felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Her mouth parted – an attempt to regain the lost oxygen, but nothing came in.
He’d gone to see a therapist because of her?
“After Charles and I ended up at your parent’s house and I learned that you had left, I was a mess. Talking to your father gave me some perspective on the situation – why you left and how what I had said contributed to that – but it wasn’t enough.” His voice broke; the emotion that he’d been trying to hold back seeped into his voice.
“You went to see a therapist…” she whispered breathlessly, gazing into his eyes.
“I was lost. When Charles and I left, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to chase after you; the need to get you back burned inside of me. But, at the same time, after what your father told me I knew that who I was wouldn’t be enough to keep you, even if I managed to smooth over what I had done; even if you forgave me for what I said, it wouldn’t have been enough in the long run.”
Beth just stared at him, listening to the truth that was woven into every word he spoke, every fiber in his body, every look that emanated from his eyes.
“I was so lost and it made me so angry because I felt helpless. I don’t know the last time that I felt helpless like that; the worst part is that I didn’t feel that way because ofsomething that someone else had done, I felt that way because of myself. I only had myself to blame.”
She saw his face change as he remembered the frustration he had experienced in that moment. Beth felt his hands begin to leave her face, pulling away from her in disappointment with himself. Her hands shot up to cover over his, keeping them planted on her cheeks, her thumbs rubbing gently over the backs of his fingers – a small gesture of support.
“I was a mess, Beth. Charles stepped in; he made me come stay with him for the next few days. He waited patiently for me to try to sort things out, gently leading me towards the conclusion that he finally suggested. He finally sat me down and told me that I needed to talk to someone professionally about what had happened to me – not just with you, but before you.” Darcy sighed, his head dropping in defeat. “I knew it at that point, too. If I wanted to be able to give you what you needed, what you deserved, I needed to fix my shit. I told you, gorgeous, I will do whatever it takes to be with you – even if that means, or meant, getting professional help.”
Beth continued to listen to him in amazement. “How long? And why haven’t you told me until now?”
Why would he hide this from her? Wouldn’t this show her the lengths he was willing to go to for her?
“Four months. These past four months. Aside from work, I’ve been drowning myself in efforts to work through my control and trust issues. I was going to see her almost every day, but the past month or so, it’s been once a week – sometimes more as it got closer to Charles’ wedding,” he answered her first question. “I should have talked to someone a long time ago. I know that I’ve learned a lot – grown a lot since I’ve been going to see Megan. I didn’t want to admit it at first, but there’s just no denying it. If Charles hadn’t intervened, I don’t know what would have happened to me.”
“That’s why you said those things in your speech at the wedding…” Beth mused out loud, remembering the part of his toast that had confused her with its apparent deeper meaning. Now, she understood just what an impact Charles had had on him recently.
