Page 54 of Third Time is the Charm
“Good; I’ve been worried…”
Beth pulled her head up off his shoulder, looking into his concerned eyes. “I know. I’m sorry for leaving like I did, but I had to.”
“I guess I understand, I just wish there was something that I could do to help – or just something that I could do to bring you back, but that’s just me being selfish,” he finished with a small smile.
Her eyes fell to her lap.Make Darcy a better man?
“I don’t know what happened, but I know whatever it was made a big impact on him, too, and I want to make sure that you knew that,” Mr. Bennet continued, Beth’s gazing rapidly returning to meet his, wondering how he knew who she was thinking about.
It’s always been him;Lydia’s words came back to haunt her.
“How do you know?” she wondered out loud.
“Because I saw his face when he realized that you were gone,” her father admitted. “He came here, apparently having gone to your and Jane’s apartment first, but no one was home since Jane had come here immediately after getting your note to let us know what was going on.”
Beth listened, entranced. Now that she knew that Darcy hadn’t left her for Caroline, she found herself desperate to know what had happened after he had kicked her out of his apartment and how he had found out that she’d left the city for good.
“He came here with Charles,” Mr. Bennet continued, when it was clear Beth was impatiently waiting for more, “looking for you. Jane had just finished telling your mother and I what had happened and, well, you know your mom; she was somewhat in hysterics at that particular moment. And Jane, well, she was in the middle of consoling your mother. So, I pulled Darcy aside, in here actually, and told him bluntly that you had left the city, that you were ok, but that we didn’t know where you had gone.” He paused to sigh at the recollection. “If it wasn’t so sad, the change on his face would have been comical. You know those Greek drama and comedy masks, it was like he went from one to the other – from hopeful to desolate.”
Beth swallowed over the lump in her throat, turning to face him more fully as she pulled both legs up onto the couch, crossing them in front of her.
“I wished I could have told him more – and I think I may have even said those exact words to him, but the thing was I didn’t know any more; that’s all Jane had told us, and I think it was all that she knew anyway. I don’t know Mr. Darcy all too well, but I’ve been around him enough that I think I can say confidently that I never thought I’d ever feel sorry for the man; but in that moment, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so sorry for someone in my whole life. He looked like I’d just ripped his heart right out of his chest.”
“What did he say?” Beth was finally able to whisper.
“Nothing – at least at that point,” he replied. “When I saw his reaction, I made him come sit on the couch – where you are sitting now – and I poured him some scotch because that was the only answer I had for him.”
“I had to go, dad,” she whispered, feeling the need to continue to justify her choice; not to him, but to herself.
“I know, sweetheart, I’m not saying you didn’t. I just want you to know what it did to him.”
“So, what did he say?”
“We sat for a few minutes, both drinking and trying to process. Finally, he uttered, ‘it’s my fault.’ To which I responded that as a man, it is always our fault.” A small smile teased her face at the way her father always attempted to lighten the mood. “That didn’t quite cut it for him, as I’m sure that you can imagine. He said that ‘it was his fucking fault’ because he told you that it was over between you and that, not only did he never want to see you again, but that he’d insinuated that you had completely betrayed him. So, I told him very bluntly that that didn’t sound like my daughter at all – which he said he knew; that he’d just been so angry that he’d lashed out, believing the worst before giving you a chance to explain, and it had cost him everything. And, for someone who probably has everything, or at least the money to buy it, he sounded completely destitute.”
“What did you say?”
“I told him that betraying people wasn’t like you – especially those you care deeply about, number one. I told him that I know absolutely nothing about his relationship with you, but I do know some things about you; I know how stubborn and independent you are. I know how driven you are to achieve your goals even at the expense of your own personal happiness. But, I told him, in spite of the truth in all of that, and the fact that those characteristics are the first that you would admit about yourself, the most important thing that I know about you is how big of a heart you have.”
Beth felt the tears bubbling to the surface of her eyes as her dad continued to talk.
“You are extremely loyal to your family and to those you care about; I see it when you defend Jane in front of your mother. I saw it when you did whatever it took to help Lydia even when she was being reckless and ridiculous. I’ve seen it when you stick up for Char even right to Mrs. Lucas’ face. You are loyal to those you love. Maybe you see that as a weakness professionally, but I see it as one of your greatest strengths. But, more than that, I also see your desire to make other’s happy, to justify your worth, when there is no need because no one ever thinks that you are lacking.”
The tears began to fall.
“In school, you gave up so much to prove that you were the best in your class. And then when Phil hired you, you wore yourself down to the bone to prove that you deserved the job he gave you – which if you would admit it to yourself, you would know that Phil would never do you, or himself, the disservice of hiring you just as a favor to our family. Of course, you know how proud I am of you and, in spite of the crazy things that she says sometimes, so is your mother. I know how things are between you two, but she doesn’t want you to be in a relationship because she doesn’t value what else you’ve done with your life or because that’s all she cares about; she wants you to find someone because there is more to life than professional success. For your mother, even though it is the opposite case, she knows what it’s like to not have that balance – to only be invested in personal accomplishments, and how it eventually will leave you wanting more.” He paused, reaching over the end of the couch to grab Beth a tissue to wipe the tears that had begun to stream down her face. Handing it to her, he took her other hand and continued, “When we’ve been out with friends these past few months, you are the first person she brings up – not Jane and her wedding, not Lydia and hers; she talks about you and how successful you are that you were head-hunted to go work in Boston. She gives you a hard time about the personal stuff because she’s afraid that if she doesn’t, you’ll end up alone and realize that you’d missed out on such a wonderful part of life.”
“Oh, dad,” Beth choked out.
“Even though you dispute it, I can see in your eyes that, whether you want it or not, you hate feeling like you’ve let her down. You work so hard because you hate the thought that you might be letting Phil down. And I told Darcy that what he said most surely made you feel like you had let him down – not just in what he thought you did, but mostly when he couldn’t bring himself to give you the chance to explain.” He sighed again, reaching to hand her another tissue. “I told him that if you left, and if I were a betting man, it was because you’d never really felt like you’d let anyone down before, and now, after what he said, you felt like you had.”
If he only knew the truth.
Unless, what if that was the truth?
The thought startled her.
Yes, she left in hurt and anger at seeing Caroline, but there were a thousand other ways she could have handled that. Yes, she’d gone over to Darcy’s apartment with the full intention of trying to apologize for her actions and to forgive him for the words that he’d said in anger. But, was it the combination of both those things, hearing those accusations of spying come out of his mouth, knowing that what he thought of her was so low that he didn’t even want to bother with her side of the story, and then cementing her failure by replacing her with the woman that she despised most.
