Page 53 of Undeniably Corrupt
It’s been more than a week since what happened between us in his office. I’ve done as much as I can to see as little of him as possible. It wasn’t too difficult, as he seemed to be avoiding me too. We can’t keep having these encounters, and I can’t keep letting him touch me, benign or not.
My heart remembers him. And that memory is a dangerous thing.
Not a lot of my childhood was happy. I had a father who liked to use my mother as a punching bag but could never talk about it with anyone. Cass and I did a bit, but even he didn’t want to talk about it. No one knew. It was our horrible secret, and secrets like that corrode and wear and rust within you if you can’t expel them.
Vander filled my heart with gold and rainbows and magic. He filled it with love, and it’s difficult when I think about how wrong things have gone in my life not to want that again. Except that’s not how it would be for us this time.
Not even close.
Vander isn’t that boy anymore, and I’m not that girl.
I got paid, which was amazing, but after all the things they had to take out for taxes and everything else, and then needing to pay off the rest of my tuition and more than the minimum on my credit cards, there was nothing left to save toward a new place.
So my days on the pole aren’t done quite yet.
Because I’m determined to move.
Every time I leave my building, I’m constantly looking over my shoulder, sometimes legit running from the asshole who thrills in hunting me down.
Katy’s serious eyes hold mine, a frown on her lips as she gives Willow a hearty shove. “If you say so, I believe you, and I respect your choice with it. I just know him too, so…” She lets that ride with another shrug, and I don’t want to press this because I don’t want to talk about or even think about Vander.
It’s Sunday. It’s my damn day off from him.
“I didn’t mean to come off as preachy about him,” she finishes.
“I didn’t mean to come off as abrasive and short with you.”
“We’re good.” She beams at me. “I promise. I don’t know a lot of people with kids our age.”
“Same with me,” I tell her, offering a smile to match hers. I go from zero to defensive in about two point four seconds, and it’s not one of my better learned traits.
“Anyway, after the kids play here, do you want to grab a hot chocolate? I know a place not too far from here, and there’s a space the kids could hang out in.”
I’d freaking love that. To go out for hot chocolate and chat with a friend and watch our girls play. That’s the dream right there. But with all dreams, it’s not reality for me. Maybe after I get my next paycheck, I can do hot chocolate dates.
“I’d love to, but unfortunately, I can’t tonight. Maybe some other time?”
She winks. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
Two hours later, it’s starting to get dark as Hazel and I race off the T toward our street. We were at the park all afternoon, having the best time with Katy and Willow since the weather was nice, and time slipped away.
Then there’s this text.
Mom: Your father was just named Maine’s man of the year. You should call to congratulate him.
Maine’s man of the year. I didn’t even know that was a thing. And no, Mom. No, I won’t be calling to congratulate him. I’d ask why she stays, but I already know the answer. He’d kill her if she ever tried to leave him. That and I think she still loves him despite his swinging fists and vicious words. Even with that, she still doesn’t know the full extent of the man he is.
All the things he’s capable of.
Me: No thanks.
Mom: I know he’d love to hear from you. He loves you.
I’m a thousand percent positive he doesn’t.
Mom: When are you planning to come home? I’d like to meet my granddaughter.
My jaw inadvertently clenches.
