Page 88 of My Highland Rogue
Jennifer didn’t know what to say. That was the exact relationship she had envisioned having with Gordon.
“It was a complete surprise when he wore medown, but I think your mother knew, from the beginning, that he was the one man for me. I never asked her, but I should have.” Her smile faded. “When Colin died unexpectedly, it was a shock. I think I believed that I would always be as happy.”
Jennifer reached over the tray and grabbed her godmother’s hand. “I’m so sorry, Ellen. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“I’m glad you did. I don’t speak of Colin very often, but I should. He was a fascinating, loving, generous, kind man, and by not speaking of him, I’ve helped to erase him from the world. I shall not do that in the future, because people deserve to remember him. Or if they didn’t know him, to learn of him anyway.”
“I liked him very much,” Jennifer said. “We had the most wonderful conversations.”
Ellen smiled. “He liked you, too. In fact, he said he thought you were the second most intelligent woman he had ever met. Me being the first, of course.”
Neither said anything for a moment, each adrift in their memories.
“Why did you ask about Colin?” Ellen asked, looking straight at her.
There was always something perceptive about Ellen’s glance, as if she could see beyond the layer of lies or wish to obfuscate or pretend. Even if she’d tried, Jennifer doubted she would have ever gotten away with anything as a child. Ellen took her role as godmother seriously. When Mary wasn’t feeling well, Ellen took it on herself to ensure that Jennifer knew her manners, wasbeing educated well, and that her character was being formed correctly.
“Is it because of Gordon?”
Jennifer forgot to breathe for a moment. “Do you know?”
“All I know, my dear girl, is that you aren’t yourself. Something’s happened and you have studiously not mentioned Gordon’s name ever since arriving in Edinburgh.”
Jennifer stared down at her hands, clasped them together, then released them.
“You haven’t been very communicative, Jennifer. When pressed, you’ve told me about Harrison and Lauren and baby Mary. You’ve been very descriptive about Sean’s funeral, Mrs. Thompson and her expertise, and even your cook. Gordon is the one person you haven’t spoken of. Has he gone back to London as well?”
Jennifer didn’t think she could say the words. If she said them, it would magically change everything about her past. Make all those interludes with Gordon something terrible, something about which to be ashamed, instead of memories she’d always treasured.
How could she possibly tell Ellen when she could barely face the truth herself?
“Did he hurt you in some way?”
“No, Gordon would never hurt me.” Not deliberately.
“Then will you tell me what it is? Misery shared is misery eased, sometimes.”
Jennifer only shook her head.
“Are you certain you don’t want to tell me?”
Jennifer stood and without another wordheaded for the bedroom. She closed the door firmly behind her, hoping that Ellen hadn’t seen her tears.
Ellen stared at the closed bedroom door, wishing that she hadn’t pushed the issue. She’d upset Jennifer, and it was the very last thing she wanted to do.
She placed her cup on the tray, then went to the bellpull, and signaled for the maid to come. She would have to apologize later this morning and then work on her patience for a little while longer.
Jennifer hadn’t said anything about wanting to go back to Adaire Hall, another change. In the past, Jennifer had always put a limit to her visit almost immediately on arriving in Edinburgh. Plus, she always went on about enhancements that she wanted to make to the Hall or to the gardens or to some aspect of the estate.
Jennifer had always taken such pride in her home, more than Harrison ever had. All he cared about was gambling, which was a fool’s exercise.
She would have to be very judicious about her questions of Jennifer in the future, but she wasn’t going to curb her curiosity.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Gordon had never been feted at a dinner like the one he attended tonight. Four friends who’d known Alex Adaire insisted on buying him an extravagant meal, then finishing it up with a round of drinks.
Gordon learned that his father had an ear for voices, and that he kept his classmates amused and entertained by mimicking their professors.
