Page 86 of My Highland Rogue
The Campbell tartan was everywhere in this parlor, from the sofa and chairs to the ottomans. Even the curtains were tartan. When Jennifer first walked into the room, it was like visiting a Scottish nightmare.
Lunch had consisted of a choice of clear or cream soup, salmon with dill sauce, venison with roasted vegetables, and a pudding topped with curls of chocolate.
Jennifer tried to eat so as not to be insulting to Mr. Campbell or his cook. She managed to eat a little of everything even though she didn’t have an appetite.
After lunch they spent some time oohing and aahing over Mary, who’d grown in only one week. It was evident to anyone that Mr. Campbell was a proud grandfather. He was the one who carried Mary into the room, then returned her to the nursery.
Ellen and Hamish carried the conversation,their interests surprisingly parallel in several areas. Ellen had a decided political bent that dictated Scotland should consider its interests first. Mr. Campbell concurred.
Neither she nor Lauren added to their discussion. When Ellen and Mr. Campbell left to tour the garden, she and Lauren simply looked at each other.
Something had happened in those two days she’d retreated to her rooms. Ever since then, Lauren had been withdrawn and distant. Their friendship had suffered as a result.
“I’m not returning to Adaire Hall,” Lauren abruptly said.
Jennifer glanced at her. For several moments neither spoke.
“You’re never returning?”
Lauren shook her head.
“Harrison feels only contempt for me, Jennifer. He told me so himself. How am I supposed to live with a man who says something like that?”
So that’s what had happened in those two days.
“I’m his wife, and I’ll remain his wife until one of us dies, but I’ll not live with him.”
Now was the time for her to launch into a speech about how people can change, except that she was certain that change was beyond Harrison. Even as a boy he’d been inflexible in his thoughts. Once he’d decided on something, it didn’t matter how much evidence to the contrary you showed him, his mind was made up.
“Harrison doesn’t want to be a proper husband and father. Mary and I will make our lives here in Edinburgh. If Harrison wants us, heknows where we’ll be.” She took a deep breath and continued. “However, I have no hope of that ever happening.”
Jennifer couldn’t think of anything to say in response. Of course, she couldn’t excuse Harrison’s behavior. Nor would she. He’d treated Lauren abominably and would probably continue to do so.
No one had ever called him out on his actions. Her mother had tried, but it had been a futile effort, especially when Mr. McBain had backed Harrison in so many instances.
“I’m sorry, Lauren.”
She stretched out her hand to Lauren. The other woman took it and for a moment they sat in silence.
“I want my husband to love me,” Lauren said finally. “I thought Harrison was capable of that, but not now.”
She glanced at Jennifer as she pulled her hand free.
“I don’t want your life, Jennifer. I’m not that good of a person. You’re the epitome of dedication and selflessness, but I don’t want to have to take care of Adaire Hall without any promise of some type of reward. Like a husband who loves me and a sense of family.”
She wasn’t as virtuous as Lauren made her sound. Her mother’s illness had dictated that Jennifer take on her duties. After her mother’s death, she’d stepped up when Harrison had abdicated his responsibilities and had continued to do so for five years. When Lauren had arrived at Adaire Hall and had been almost immediatelypregnant—and debilitated—Jennifer had carried on, waiting for the moment when Lauren would take on the role of countess.
Now it looked like that day would never come.
She didn’t blame Lauren for refusing to follow in her footsteps. Adaire Hall could not hug you in the evening or give you comfort at night. It couldn’t greet you in the morning with a kiss or share a laugh. Yet someone had to care, to be the one everyone relied on.
Lauren was choosing her own life, one that would prove shocking to many people. Yet Jennifer couldn’t help but wonder when she got to choose hers.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ellen’s patience ran out at dawn a week later.
Nothing had changed since the visit to the Campbells a week ago. If anything, Jennifer had become more withdrawn. She barely spoke and found excuses not to join Ellen for dinner. She’d refused, for two days now, to accompany Ellen on shopping trips.
