Page 62 of My Highland Rogue
Know the secret that would forever separate them? Know the truth of his birth? Know that nothing would ever be the same again?
She startled him by kneeling on the dock, her arms reaching out to hug him. He stood, moving away from her before she could touch him.
“Gordon?” She remained on her knees looking up at him. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head, but took several steps away from her.
She stood. “I’m so sorry, but at least you were able to see him before he died.”
“Sean’s dead?”
She nodded. He stared at the water, the surface of it brightly lit by the sun. A dozen thoughts cascaded into his mind, chief of which was the realization that he wouldn’t be able to get a witness to Sean’s revelations. No one but him would hear the story of Betty’s perfidy.
“Gordon?”
She was too damn close. He couldn’t bear to smell her perfume, see the tears welling in her eyes, or her face melting into a look of compassion. He could only tolerate so much, and he’d reached his limit.
When she would have reached out for him again, Gordon took another step back, almost as if he didn’t want her to touch him.
No doubt it was a reaction to the news she’d brought.
“I’ll come with you to see him.”
“No.”
That was a surprise.
“It’s all right. He looks like himself, only more peaceful and at rest.”
“Death does not imbue anyone with virtue, Jennifer. Sean is Sean whether alive or dead.”
He turned and started to walk away from her. He didn’t stop to apologize for his behavior. Nor did he offer any explanation for it. She could only assume that grief was causing him to act as if they were strangers to each other, that they hadn’t declared their love for one another just yesterday.
Later, after he’d had time to adjust to the news of Sean’s death, she knew he would come to her. Until then, she’d wait.
Chapter Twenty-Five
In the next two days, every maid, footman, and stable boy came to Sean’s cottage to extend their condolences, and to stand in mute testimony of the fragility of life beside his coffin.
The cottage hadn’t been empty since Sean’s death. Because Gordon was his only close relative, the staff at Adaire Hall had taken up the duties of family. Sean’s body was never left alone but was watched over by two women taking turns. In the morning Sally and Moira surprised him as the next to be Sean’s guardians.
Gordon heard countless tales of Sean, vignettes of memory that painted the man as kinder than the person Gordon had known. Someone with a sense of humor that he’d rarely seen. He couldn’t help but wonder if the stories had any basis in truth, or if people conjured up something nice to say about Sean McDonnell for his sake.
He thanked each one of them, never saying what was in his mind: that whatever he learned about Sean couldn’t offset his greater sin. He didn’t care about the man’s sense of humor, or his fairness to underlings, or how he’d always personally selected the flowers for the countess’s morning table. For three years—or longer—he’dkept a terrible secret safe, and for that Gordon would never forgive him.
Most people who entered the cottage asked him if he’d heard the dead jack. Evidently, the sound, similar to the ticking of a watch, was an omen known to be present prior at most deaths. He hadn’t.
Sean’s body had been washed and wrapped in a winding sheet and laid on thestrykinboard provided by Adaire Hall’s carpenter. The long flat board was wider and longer than any table in the cottage and would hold the body until the coffin was ready. The front room furniture had been rearranged, thestrykinboard supported on two chairs, and this was where Sean lay, candles kept burning beside him. When it was time, thekistan—the laying of the body in the coffin—was held, and close friends were invited to attend. A penny was placed on each of Sean’s eyes and a plate of salt on his chest.
Jennifer had been one of the first to pay her respects. Gordon had forced himself to remain standing in the front room, but other than thanking her for coming, he didn’t speak.
When he did address her, he found it easier to stare at the far wall above her head, someplace where he didn’t have to look at her face, or see the expression in her eyes.
She’d been part of his life, even those five years when he hadn’t been physically near her. He’d wondered about her endlessly, allowing his daydreams to carry him into her life at Adaire Hall. Somehow, he was going to have to exorcize her, see her not as someone with whom he couldshare a future, but only someone he’d known in his past.
Harrison also showed up on the first day. No doubt because it was expected of him, or because Jennifer had lectured him on the duties of an earl. After sending a cursory glance in Sean’s direction, he announced his real reason for coming to the cottage.
“The new head gardener will be moving in soon. You’ll have to be quit of this place by the day after the funeral. You’re not going to give me any trouble about this, are you?”
