Page 35 of My Highland Rogue
For the first time she suspected that her sister-in-law recognized the truth only too well.
Lauren looked down at her feet, now bare of slippers. “Does he love you? I mean, really love you, not simply tell you that he does? If he has, how do you know? How does anyone know?”
“Yes.” Jennifer walked back to the bed, stepped up, and sat on the edge of the mattress again. “I think you have to believe, don’t you? I don’t know what it’s likenotto love Gordon. I’ve loved him ever since I was a child.”
For a moment Lauren didn’t say anything. Jennifer didn’t know if she should interject a comment or say something calming about Harrison. What could she say about her brother that would explain his behavior? He’d treated Lauren abominably.
“Sometimes, you can fool yourself,” Lauren finally said. “It doesn’t matter what your mind says. Your heart will do as it wishes.”
They had never discussed Harrison before, even in such opaque terms.
“Sometimes,” Lauren continued. “Most of the time, in fact. My heart refuses to listen to anything else other than how it feels.”
Implicit in that comment was a request, one that Jennifer heard and understood.Please don’t tell me the truth. Don’t tell her that Harrison was probably not capable of caring for anyone other than himself.
The truth would not be Lauren’s friend in this instance.
“Gordon is a very personable man. I found him exceedingly charming.”
Jennifer smiled. “That is not a word I have ever heard anyone use about Gordon. Except for my mother. She found him charming, too.”
“But he wasn’t the same toward you?”
Jennifer stared at the opposite wall. “He was just himself. He was angry sometimes. And funny. He could do the best impressions of people, including our tutor. He had a wonderful sense of humor. He was also passionate about a great many things. I don’t find it odd that he’s made a success of himself. I always knew he would.”
“Tutor?”
“My mother insisted that he be educated along with Harrison and me. Harrison was sent away to school, but he didn’t do well there. His guardian decided that a tutor would be good enoughfor him. My mother was the one who insisted on me being educated as well.”
“My father would have approved, but then he’s an egalitarian. How did you feel about it?”
Jennifer smiled again. “I was thrilled, but then I had been Gordon’s friend for a long time by that point. We studied together often. He was always determined to do better on a test than I did. Or Harrison.”
Harrison fussed. He complained. He insulted Gordon at every opportunity. He made jokes about his education being wasted on a gardener’s boy. She doubted that Mr. McBain was in favor of the arrangement, either, but he deferred to Jennifer’s mother. After all, she was still the Countess of Burfield, a woman beloved and considered a heroine by most people.
“Both Gordon and Harrison were determined to show the other one up. At least until Harrison went away to school again. This time he stayed.”
“What happened then?”
“Plans were made for me to have a season, even though I didn’t want one.”
She’d known exactly what she wanted in life, to be Gordon’s wife. To live with him where they’d have the freedom to love each other.
One day she’d said as much to her mother. She couldn’t remember the reason for the comment, only that Mary Adaire hadn’t said anything for some time.
When she’d finally spoken, Jennifer wasn’t surprised by what she said.
“My dear, darling girl, you might change your mind. You’re young and that happens.”
“Did you? Did you change your mind about Father?”
Her mother’s lips had turned up on one corner, the only kind of smile Mary could express with the terrible burns on her face.
“No, I didn’t change my mind.”
That had been that. They’d never spoken of Gordon after that day. The strangest thing was that her mother had never told her that he wasn’t good enough for her, or that she was foolish for loving the gardener’s boy. Instead, when she spoke of Gordon it was with admiration for his achievements in the schoolroom.
She had a feeling that her mother would have been proud of Gordon’s other accomplishments as well.
