Page 83 of To Bed the Bride
What words were appropriate at this moment? She didn’t know because what she wanted to say was forbidden.
I love you.
She placed her hand on his cheek, rose up, and kissed him lightly. Would it be permissible to say thank you? Would he understand how much she appreciated that he’d put aside his honor in order to give her this experience?
“I have to leave,” she softly said. “I’ve already been gone for some time. I’ll be missed.” Especially since she was supposed to be feeling ill, too sick to be attending a fitting.
When she was questioned about her absence, she would say that she needed to get some air. She would find some excuse.
She doubted that would be necessary for long, however. The actions of this afternoon would soon fade beneath her news. When she told her family that she wasn’t going to marry Michael, no one would remember her absence.
She wasn’t going to lose everything that her father had built up for years. She wasn’t going to turn over the management of Hearthmere to anyone else. Nor was she going to allow the horses, the very bloodline her father had perfected, to be sold. She was going to choose a single life rather than becoming a countess and she wasn’t going to regret one single moment of it. Nor was she going to regret this afternoon, either.
She’d thought about her decision for hours.Disappointmentwasn’t a strong enough word to describe what her family would feel, but it was the only way to keep Hearthmere intact.
She sat up, reaching for her shift, conscious that Logan was still behind her, naked.
Finally, he sat up beside her. Did he feel the same reluctance to speak?
She finally found her corset cover, but she’d lost one garter. Logan dressed and helped her look for it, but it was nowhere to be found.
Bruce had moved and was now sitting to the side of one of the chairs.
“Did you take my garter, Bruce? Did you think it was a new toy?”
He tilted his head and gave her a little whine.
“Where is it, silly?”
He came and licked her fingers.
“Never mind,” she said. “I just won’t wear my stockings.” Her skirt was voluminous enough that no one would know.
She put her two stockings and the remaining garter in the bottom of her reticule. Standing, she wished she had a mirror, the better to put her hair in some order.
“You look beautiful,” Logan said.
She turned and gazed up at him.
“There’s a faint flush to your skin,” he said. “And your lips are pink.”
She wanted to go to him and kiss him once more. That would only make her departure harder. She wanted to stay here for the rest of her life, and wasn’t that a silly notion?
“I have to leave,” she said once more. If she didn’t get back soon she wouldn’t need to inform Michael of her decision. Gossip would end their engagement.
Logan nodded. “This shouldn’t have happened.”
How do you stop a whirlwind? That’s what it had felt like. As if she would die without touching him or being touched.
“Will it help?”
“Help?” she asked, not understanding.
“Will this afternoon help you get through your wedding night, Eleanor?”
She was so shocked by his comment that she could only wordlessly stare at him.
“I trust it shall. I hope you have a long and happy marriage, Your Ladyship.”
