Page 68 of To Bed the Bride
It would have been easier if she’d never met Logan. She would never have come to love Bruce. Neither would she be feeling the pain of losing him. If Logan had never come into her life, she wouldn’t have anyone to compare Michael against and find him lacking. She would have no one to long for, wishing that circumstances were different.
Yet if she’d never met him she would never have known what this emotion was that she was feeling now. She would never have felt the lightness in her heart when she thought she might see him. She would never have known what it felt like to be truly alive as she only did in his presence. Or the freedom of being herself with someone.
“Then I change my mind,” she said. “I’ll take one of those pieces of shortbread.”
He handed her the plate with a smile before moving back to the chair.
For a half an hour they managed to talk of innocuous things like his niece and nephew or his recent trip to Scotland. The conversation could have been held between two strangers, not people who’d come to know each other well. She drank her tea and ate the biscuits, and when her cup was empty and the biscuits eaten, she stood, smiling down at a sleeping Bruce. The minute she started to walk toward the door he would wake, but the image of him dreaming on Logan’s carpet was one she’d always remember.
Bruce would have a home here with someone who would care for him and treat him well. Most importantly, he would be safe.
Walking away, however, would be difficult.
“Will you let him sleep on your bed?” she asked. “He always settles in at the foot of my bed.”
“If you want.”
Logan came to stand in front of her. Before she could turn and grab her reticule, he pulled her into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her. They stood like that for some minutes as she rested her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes. She doubted that she would ever feel as safe with anyone else again. She would always remember these moments with the fire crackling behind them and the soft breathing of the puppy at their feet.
Heaven must be like this.
“You don’t have to marry him, Eleanor. You could always change your mind.”
“No, I can’t,” she said.
He pulled back, dropping his arms. “Is becoming a countess such a lure?”
“You know it isn’t.”
“Then what is it? Why go ahead with the marriage?”
He didn’t understand. What was left of her family was thrilled with the union. Her aunt would finally be related to an earl. Granted, it was a feat she would have preferred her daughter achieve, but a niece was a close enough relative. Hamilton’s business empire would be positively affected. Daphne and Thomas could tell everyone that they had a countess in the family. Even Jeremy’s life would be bettered.
If she didn’t go through with the wedding she’d not only disappoint everyone, but she’d have to live under a cloud of disapproval for the rest of her life. She couldn’t imagine a worse fate.
Family is everything, Eleanor. It’s the same with horses.
Her father’s words and his belief.
Family is everything.Perhaps it was even more important than her own wishes, hopes, or dreams.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Every Wednesday afternoon for the past month Eleanor had Liam drive her to Logan’s house. If her driver thought it odd that she made the same trip repeatedly, he never mentioned it. Nor did he gossip among the rest of the staff. No one looked at her strangely or giggled when she passed.
Every Wednesday she met Liam down the street a bit, so no one in the house knew that she’d left. As long as she wasn’t needed for a fitting, her presence wasn’t required, especially when it came to her own wedding preparations. Deborah and Daphne were making all the arrangements themselves with occasional input from Michael.
No one ever asked where she’d been on those Wednesdays, even when she stayed longer than she planned, talking to Mrs. Campbell or walking Bruce in the square. No one seemed to notice her absence or demand an accounting.
It was as if, in addition to being mute, she was now invisible.
One day she would probably be caught. She wasn’t foolish enough to think she could escape detection forever, but until then she was going to continue to visit Bruce every Wednesday.
Neither her aunt nor Daphne asked about the puppy. If they noticed his absence, they didn’t remark upon it. Jeremy never made mention of anything but his own concerns, but she expected Hamilton to say something. He didn’t.
Not one of them asked if she missed Bruce. Or if a place in her heart felt empty. Those maids who’d made a point to pet the puppy or give him a treat wouldn’t meet her eyes. At first she didn’t understand until one of them clarified the issue for her.
“Did you have him drowned, Miss Eleanor? We’re all wondering, but we didn’t want to ask.”
