Page 81 of The English Duke
It was too late. The time to be honest with him was last night. Before he’d pledged himself to Josephine this morning. Before the announcement that was, no doubt, even now finding its way to London.
In her defense she’d had no idea Josephine would insert herself as the harlot of this piece.
What did she do now? What could she do now?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Any explanation she offered, any truth she said would only bring scandal down upon all their heads.
“I’ve enjoyed our time together,” she said. There were so many words she shouldn’t say, but she’d say what she could. “I think my father was right in liking you.”
“That’s a great compliment,” he said, “but I’m not sure I’m worthy of it.”
Oh, he was. He was the most honorable man she’d ever met yet honor had proved to be a burden, hadn’t it? Still, she was glad she’d gone to his room. There, the truth, perhaps never to be revealed to another soul.
She stood and looked at him one last time, one long and steady look to last her for the rest of her life.
She smiled, then said, “Good-bye, Your Grace.”
My love.
Chapter 23
Martha finished packing her lone valise and looked around the room she’d occupied the past few days. She’d already left a small gratuity with Mrs. Browning, along with her thanks.
How strange that the chamber felt familiar and comfortable. It wasn’t Sedgebrook she would miss. It washim. Jordan of the letters. The arrogant man who’d touched her heart so easily.
It was time.
She hadn’t known him before arriving. Perhaps she’d been curious about him from reading his letters, but that’s all it was. It certainly wasn’t fascination. Making love to him was only because of that same curiosity: she’d wanted to know what passion was like.
What a terrible series of lies she’d just told herself.
Moving to the window, she stared out at the lake. Would she ever feel the same about another man as she did Jordan? Probably not. Never again would she allow herself to feel as much. Never again would she be as free as she’d been that day only three days ago when they’d first arrived at Sedgebrook. Never again would she look at a man the way she’d looked at him, with her breath tight and her pulse racing and tears too close to the surface.
She was standing in a sunbeam. That was the only reason her entire body felt warm.
From here she could see a tiny corner of the boathouse. She wouldn’t go and say good-bye. She’d already done that last night.
Their carriage was being readied. She’d been told they’d leave within the hour.
She looked down at her dark blue traveling dress, wishing she had something else to wear. But it was a choice between this and the loathsome lavender and she couldn’t bear to wear that garment one more day.
She’d already helped Amy prepare her grandmother and watched as the footmen devised a chairlift to help Gran down the stairs.
Once at the bottom of the grand staircase she greeted her sister with a nod, ignoring Josephine’s almost proprietary glance around Sedgebrook. Almost as if she was saying:This is all mine and in a few weeks I’ll come back and claim it.
Martha was more than ready to go home; she was almost desperate to reach Griffin House. She knew herself there. There were no secrets being revealed just when she least expected them. She would not be challenged by a handsome man who also touched her heart and made her dream of things that could never happen.
In the past three days he’d revealed himself to be truly Jordan of the letters. A man who’d so captivated her heart it hurt to think of leaving him. Especially knowing that when she saw him next he’d be her sister’s husband.
“You didn’t see His Grace,” Gran said.
“You should have said a proper farewell,” Josephine offered, pulling on her gloves.
“I’m sorry,” Martha said to her grandmother. She was not going to address Josephine. Nor did she offer that she and Jordan had seen each other last night. The time in the moonlit garden was hers, not to be discussed with anyone else.
“When will the carriage be ready?” Josephine asked.
“Only a few minutes from now,” her grandmother said.
