Page 18 of Beautifully Broken
Her mouth opens and closes a few times and by the way her chest is rapidly rising and falling, I know we are not off to a good start.
“Ivy?” I ask. She doesn’t answer, and I watch for a moment as she continues to spiral. Raising the palm of my hand. I graze her cheek, then brush my thumb under her chin to tilt her eyes up toward mine.
“I–I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. This is all too much right now. Part of me wants to sit and hear everything you have to say. But the other part wants to run as fast as I can away from all of this. It's just too damn much.”
Think, Ezra. She is not safe out there.
Her eyes dart around the room, and I grasp her hand, gaining her attention. “Hey. Why don’t you go take a shower? Reset. I will be right here waiting for you when you are done.”
Blaire hesitates for a moment, but then nods and makes her way to the bathroom. I follow right behind her and turn on the shower for her before heading into the walk-in closet and grab her one of my t-shirts and a pair of sweats. I could snag one of the many items she hasn’t shoved into her bag, but I’m selfish and want to see her in mine.
Silently, she watches as I place a towel on the warming rack before standing toe to toe with her in front of the shower.
Words fail me and I lean down, placing a kiss atop her head, then leave her to be alone in her thoughts.
As I sit back on the bed, staring at the door, time stands still.
I need to get myself together because I know if I mess this up, I will ruin my one shot at truly reclaiming Ivy.
***
The bathroom door opens, the steam from the shower flowing into the bedroom. Blaire’s long blonde hair is in a knot atop her head and my shirt falls to her mid thigh.
She is absolutely perfect.
Blaire’s gaze meets mine, and I open my arms wide.
Come to me, baby. Please give me a chance.
With her head held high, she cuts the distance between us and crosses her arms over chest, her lips pursed and her eyebrow cocked.
There’s my brave girl. I knew she was in there.
My arms drop to my side and I itch to pull her into my lap, but I don’t.
“I’m giving you one chance to tell me the full truth. If you hesitate, hold back, or I sense you’re lying, I will walk out that door and you will never hear from me again. I survived this long on my own with Carson. I can and will do it again, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. Got it?”
“Yes ma’am. I meant what I said Ivy. I will get on my knees if that's what it takes for you to give me a chance.”
Slowly, I slide off the bed, and her resolve breaks as a grin spreads across her face.
Pushing against my shoulder, she shakes her head. And because I am desperate, I latch onto her arm and pull her to my lap.
I sit us back against the headboard and tuck her against my chest. My arms wrap around her, almost caging her in.
Call me selfish, but I need to feel her against me as I say the words I am ashamed to utter out loud.
What if she hates me? What if she doesn’t want to be with the monster I’ve become? What if all the work I did to be a better man was for nothing?
“EJ. Start talking.”
“What did you just say?” I ask, emotion clogging my throat.
Tilting her head to look up at me, she smiles. “Don’t get all sappy on me. It’s just a nickname.”
Oh, how wrong you are, Ivy.
Get yourself together, Ezra. Now is not the time to go all sappy.
