Page 95 of Beautifully Broken
“I don’t want you to go,” Cali says, her voice cracking a little. “Maybe we can figure out a way for you to stay. You could move in with one of us. We’ll make it work. Youhaveto stay here. I need you to stay here.”
Hearing her say that makes the lump in my throat even worse. I don’t want to leave either. I don’t want to go anywhere. I just want things to stay normal.
“This sucks. I hate your stepfather. What does this mean for us?” Jax asks, his voice sharp. He starts pacing the room, frustration written all over his face. I can see the anger and sadness fighting it out in his eyes.
I just stare at the floor, wishing I could rewind time and make this whole mess go away. But I can’t. I’m stuck.
Of course, the night ends with us trying to act normal, finishing a movie like nothing’s changed. But soon as Van drops Cali off and Jax drives me home, the weight of everything hits. We both know this is probably the last time I’ll get to be here, with him, like this.
And I just want to scream because I don’t know how to stop it from happening.
***
On the way to my house, Jax pulls the car over into the parking area for the lake, its glassy surface reflecting the bright moonlight. Set back in the woods,the trail offers a scenic hike around the sparkling lake, perfect for a relaxing picnic amidst nature’s embrace.
“Why are we here?” I ask Jax with a smile as he leans over, kissing me. He overwhelms me, his tongue engaging in a fierce battle with mine before gently biting my bottom lip and trailing down to my neck. A soft moan escapes my lips as my fingers twist in his hair; I arch, offering myself more completely to him.
“I was hoping we would have more time together, but it feels like I am losing you too soon.” Jax says against my neck. He moves to look at me, his hands cradling my face.
“You’ll join me at the prom, right? Show the world, my amazing demoness queen.” He asks, then kisses me again, not waiting for my answer.
“Yes, Jax,” I breathe, my lips brushing against his as I settle onto his lap. The sound of our laughter fills the car as I accidentally hit the steering wheel with my ass.
“Maybe we should get you home.” His kisses, light as a feather, land softly on my forehead, then my nose, and finally, my lips. “I love you, Nova Lilith,” he declares, his eyes full of adoration. I smile, the feeling of his strong arms around me a comforting weight, and cuddle into him. “I love you too, Jaxson Vincent.”
***
Jax
End of the Month
This month has been impossible, knowing that Nova is going to be moving in a couple of months. I hate her being forced to leave, and she refuses to consider staying together long distance. She says she doesn’t want to hold me back from living my senior year and college life to the fullest. I don’t think she understands that not being with her will kill me. I don’t even want to get ready and go to the baseball game today, and I am the starting pitcher.
The locker room is loud with the usual pre-game noise, all the shouting and laughing hanging in the air. I sit there, lacing my cleats slower than necessary, pretending not to care when someone brings her up.
They tease, ask if she has a sister, joke about how good she always looks at the games. I feel it building, that ugly knot of jealousy twisting tight inside me, and before I even think it through, the words come out, sharp and easy.
“Don’t waste your time,” I say, loud enough for everyone to hear. “She’s a headcase. All smiles until you get close, then it’s drama nonstop. Thinking every little thing is the end of the world. Honestly? Girl’s a mess who is just good at pretending she’s not.”
The laughter is immediate, cruel. Someone makes a nasty comment about her being “easy,” and I don’t correct him. I just laugh along with the rest, sitting there like it doesn’t cost me anything.
But when the noise fades, and the guys move on to the next joke, I sit there alone, the pit in my stomach getting heavier. I picture her face, the way she smiles at me like I’m the safest place she knows. I think about the trust and love she puts in me without even blinking.
And I realize I’ve taken that trust and shattered it into a million pieces for a couple of cheap laughs and the chance at a clean break before she leaves me.
I bury my face in my hands for a second, breathing slowly, wishing I could claw the words back out of the air. But it’s too late. The damage is done, and worse, part of me knows I don’t deserve to fix it.
Chapter 5
Nova
I can’t believe what I just heard some guys saying in the hallway. I freeze. The world spins around me, but somehow, my feet stay glued to the floor. Every word they repeat that he said sinks into me like a weight, dragging me down. The building feels too small, and suddenly, the walls are closing in.
I don’t know how I’m still standing, how my legs haven’t given out beneath me. I try to act like nothing’s wrong, like nothing he said matters. I even force myself to smile, but it’s a smile I don’t recognize. It feels hollow.
“Did you hear what Jax had to say about his girl when he heard us talking about her? That she’s a total mess, a head case. Trying to act all perfect. It’s exhausting. She’s good at pretending, though. Don’t be fooled.”
Are you fucking kidding me? That is what he actually thinks of me? I want to scream. I want to ask him why he would ever say anything like that. But I know the answer already. My move is just bringing the truth out. He doesn’t love me. Not like I love him. I grab my bag, heart heavy and bitter, and walk away — because at this point, walking away is all I have left.
