Page 70 of Beautifully Broken
“Hey, look at me, lovebug.” His fingers tilt my chin to make eye contact. “I still want you, more than anything. Please believe me.”
I think I nod, feeling my eyes water, desperately wanting to spill my past.
“I thought I was ready for everything, Braiden.”
From his concerned expression, it’s clear he wants to ask further questions, considering I’m vibrating with fear beside him. I can’t get myself to open up right now.
“You better get going to practice.” I give him a tight smile to encourage him. He lingers, not wanting to leave me in this state. “I’m going to take shower and relax out back with my book.” Leaning over, I give him a gentle kiss while running my hands down his arms. “I’m fine, okay?”
“Okay.” If he doesn’t believe me, he fakes it well. Braiden cups my face as his thumbs brush over the apples of my cheeks. “Thanks for joining me for lunch, Ava.” He kisses my forehead before seeing himself out.
My therapist is right; she can only take me so far. It’s time for me to take charge of owning my past and trust that I have the right man by my side to share it with.
Chapter 2
Braiden
“Wright, what the hell is wrong with you?” my coach shouts at me after my third sluggish lap. “You’re slower each fucking time. How are you going to win another gold against these younger kids when your twenty-four-year-old ass is clocking in like a turtle.”
“You’re right, Coach. I think I need a moment.”
I live and breathe training and have never asked him for a minute to collect myself. He holds my gaze sternly before nodding.
“I’ll be back in ten minutes. Do what you need to do so your head is on straight.” With a shake of his head, he walks off the pool deck.
Lifting myself out of the pool, I peel off my goggles and find a quiet corner. The pool has always helped clear my mind, but the weight of today feels too heavy for even the water to hold me. I can’t fuck things up with Ava. She’s the first woman who’s seen me past the gold medal and media status, who’s made me see I’m worth more than my accomplishments. I’ve discovered more about who I am when I’m not inhaling calories or training. Like there’s more to life than what I’ve worked so hard for. Gone are my casual days with women. Being with Ava has proved I can keep a steady relationship, that I can prioritize more in life than winning. She’s becoming my number one, and I never thought I’d feel that way before.
I make a great boyfriend; at least, I think so, with all the good effort I’m putting in to keep her happy. She’s shown me I’m great at miniature golf and not too bad at crafting. We can spend an entire night getting lost in deep conversations without having to have sex. No one makes me laugh the way she does or asks questions that throw me off guard in the best way. She's taught me intimacy on a much deeper level, and I’m so damn obsessed with her. Her heart, her kindness, her beauty that shines from the inside out.
There’s one thing that has me all twisted up, though. Ava Rose is an enigma when it comes to sex. An endless lover of smutty books and has had no problem dropping to her knees to give me a blow job. That first blow job, I swear I’ll remember even if Alzheimer’s kicks in. My cock awakens from the memory, so I reach for a towel to casually cover myself. Her soft skin brushing against mine is addicting. Her sweet scent brings me comfort, and I’d do anything to make her feel just as incredible as she makes me feel. To experience a greater intimate moment of slipping inside her and having her come undone beneath me. But it’smyreciprocation that has her on fucking edge, yet she keeps attempting to go further. I can’t make sense of it.
My brain rattles as a whistle blows for other swimmers. Walking to the window where my phone is, I pull it out and see her name across the screen.
Ava Rose:Such a shame we didn’t satisfy your needs today. We should have started with you.
My sternum feels tight, caving in as the image of her cowering back on the bed, wearing a terrified look, replays through my mind. There must be more to her fear of being touched than she’s vocalizing. I didn’t want to think that could be the case, but it’s seeming more and more likely. My stomach burns as my jaw tics. If anyone has hurt her in the past, I’ll track them down and crush them with my bare hands.
Me:Not everything needs to end with orgasms, lovebug.
I want her to come to me and share what’s holding her back. Asking might make her uneasy, as if I’m hinting at needing more from her physically. Do I want more? Of course. But only when she feels safe and desires that just as much. We haven’t even exchangedI love yous, but there’s no doubt that I can see a future with Ava Rose. Me straight up hitting one knee as the Eiffel Tower lights up at night, to her in a white dress, walking down the aisle, to us picking out paint colors to decorate our first house. And damn, it would be nice one day to wake her up with my mouth on her pussy… That is, if she’s comfortable with it.
“Wright,” my coach calls out, snapping me out of my trance. “You want that gold medal or not?”
Wordlessly, I head back to the pool, knowing I need to get my head in the zone and train to the best of my ability. I can focus on Ava after. This very well might be my last year at having a chance to win, and my mindset needs to stay strong. Diving into the water, I swam the splits he’s happy with, and before I know it, I’m hitting the locker room for a shower.
As I’m heading out of the aquatic center, a young boy and his mother walk toward me. Does Ava want children? Would we be bringing them here too? I guess there are some topics we have yet to cover. All in due time. It’s something I’ve never thought about, but with her, I can picture it.
The boy lets go of his mother’s hand and runs up when he sees me.
“You’re Braiden Wright!” He’s maybe six and tries to stand taller. “I’m practicing today to beat your record and earn a gold medal too.”
“I’m sorry,” his mother says. “You were on your way out.”
“He’s totally fine.” Smiling, I bend down to the boy’s level. “With your determination, kid, I believe you can win that gold medal.”
He grins, with a front tooth missing. “I believe I will too. Well, I better go practice!” With that, he runs back over to his mother and they head into the building. Kids are fun to be around. In good timing, I think I’d make a pretty good dad.
But that will have to wait because I need to focus on my goals. Winning another gold and being the best version of myself for my girlfriend.
