Page 116 of Beautifully Broken
I tilt my head. “Are you serious?”
He nods. “Yes, it’s time you see how beautiful you are inside and out.”
Before I can stop myself, I throw my arms around his neck. His arms circle around my waist, pulling me tight against his chest and lifting me up.
Setting me down on my feet, his arms still holding me close, I watch as a smile spreads across his face. “This was a good idea?”
I nod enthusiastically, lost for words.
Trevor is beyond thoughtful and the fact that he planned this, just for me, has me melting on the inside for him.
When I’m around him, I feel this sense of calmness and I’m able to get out of my head.
He grabs his camera off the table and points to where he wants me. “Why don’t we start with you by the fence and the horses?”
I smile. “You got it.” I slowly walk over to where Trevor pointed to.
“Just be you, Soph. I’ll do the rest.”
Stepping up to the fence, I lean on my forearms and close my eyes, letting the sun wash over me. A light breeze makes its way over my face and through my hair, and all I can think is, this is what freedom feels like.
Freedom is like the wind, blowing whichever way it chooses. Making the decision all on its own, anyone else be damned. That’s what Ineedin my life. That’s what I have to make happen.
I can’t continue to let my mom ruin me with her spiteful words. I’m far too young not to enjoy my life. And I’m too old not to make my own decisions. It doesn’t matter that all I want is for my mother to be proud of me and have her vocalize that.
Isn’t that what every child wants from their parents? Approval? For them to be proud of them?
Mom doesn’t comprehend the negative impact she has on my life or that I’m struggling with an eating disorder because of it. After this weekend, I don’t know how else to make her see how she affects me.
I don’t realize tears have spilled over my eyes until I feel Trevor’s thumb wiping them away.
I turn to see a frown on his face. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “There isn’t anything to be sorry about. Are you okay?”
He cups my cheek, and I lean into his hand. “Yeah. I’m okay. This is the best I’ve felt in a long time.”
He moves his free hand around my back. “Come here.” He brings me to his chest and wraps his other arm around me and rubs my back.
Trevor pulls back, but doesn’t let go. “Want to see the pictures?”
I smile. “Of course.”
He lets his hands drop, but laces our fingers together and leads me over to the table before pulling his laptop out and connecting his camera to it. After a few clicks, the pictures appear on the screen.
Holy shit! They are beautiful.
The way Trevor captures the background is amazing, but it’s the focal point being on me that has me breathless.
Somehow, he has encapsulated me and all of my emotions. The vulnerability, sadness and happiness all at the same time.
I can’t tear my gaze away from the screen as he goes through each picture.
“Trevor—”
I lose my words as the last picture flashes across the screen. There I am, face to the sun, eyes closed, with wisps of hair blowing in the wind and a single tear falling down my cheek.
This shows everything I was feeling in that moment, and Trevor cemented it in time. This is a photo I’ll be able to look back on in years to come and remember exactly how I was feeling.
