Page 61 of Stat: Love In Scrubs
“It’s been a minute, I know,” I murmured. “Not ‘cause I forgot. Just been trying to keep it together—keep things steady for Esa. For work. For myself, on the days I can.”
I looked up at the sky. Cloudless. Still.
“But there’s someone.”
The words came out low, like I had to check in with myself first. They didn’t sting like I expected. They landed easily.
“She’s not you,” I said. “And I ain’t lookin’ for her to be. But she’s good, V. Got a smart mouth and a heart to match it. She loves hard, even when she tries to pretend she doesn’t.”
I smiled a little.
“And she’s good to Esa. Real good. Makes her laugh. Checks on her. Talks to her like she’s more than a kid. Like she matters.”
The breeze picked up just then. Not strong, but soft enough to feel like something.
“I think I’m falling in love with her.”
It was the first time I’d said it out loud. Not to Yara. Not even to myself. Just here, with V, where I knew it was safe.
“I ain’t here for approval. And I ain’t tryna make sense of none of this. I just wanted you to know. I’m okay. I still have my days, but I’m learning how to breathe again. How to live.”
I swallowed the lump that pushed into my throat and let a moment pass in silence.
“I finally saw your parents. You probably already know it didn’t go too well at first… but they came around. Said they’re willing to try therapy. I hope they follow through—Esa deserves as much love around her as possible.”
I placed my hand on her stone once more.
“I’ll keep looking out for them—for you.”
I let my hand rest there a beat longer, letting the silence say what I couldn’t. Then I drew in a slow breath, eyes drifting toward the sky above us.
“Keep watchin’ over our girl,” I said finally. “She’s got more people now—but she’ll always have you.”
I stepped back, gave the stone one last look, then turned and walked toward the car. A soft breeze brushed the back of my neck—the same way Veronica used to do when she wanted me to know I was doing the right thing.
I didn’t need her approval. But damn… it felt good.
I sat in the car for a few extra minutes after leaving the cemetery. My hand gripped the wheel, but I wasn’t rushing to pull off. The silence hit differently now—didn’t feel like grief sitting heavy on my chest anymore. Just quiet.
Maybe that was peace.
I thought about Yara. How she walked into my life like she wasn’t afraid of the mess. How she challenged me, cared for Esa, and didn’t ask for more than I could give—but somehow made me want to give her everything, anyway.
It would’ve been easy to chalk this up to timing. To the way she looked. The way her smart-ass mouth drove me crazy and turned me on at the same time. But nah.
This wasn’t a rebound or a distraction.
I wanted her.
And not just when things were good. I wanted her when the days were long, and my head was heavy, and Esa needed extra love. I wanted her when life was quiet, and especially when it got loud.
I didn’t know if this was forever, but I knew this: I was choosing her. Not by accident. Not out of grief.
On purpose.
Desmond and Esa had spent the weekend with me. I never realized how much smaller my place was compared to his until I saw the damage Esa could do to a house. I laughed to myself because you noticed everything in a smaller space.
I leaned against the counter and watched Desmond as he made breakfast. I smiled as he navigated through my kitchen like it was his. It was his idea that he cooked breakfast this time because I had cooked every time I came and stayed at his place.
