Page 45 of Stat: Love In Scrubs
“I talked with my insurance. They’re going to fix the damage since it’s no one's fault. Things just happened the way they did. But it’s not going to be fixed quickly, and we had a little problem before the fire. One of my donors dropped out. It was no fault of mine, just that they had to let some of their donations go, and we happened to be on the chopping block.”
She released a breath as if talking about this was putting a strain on her.
“Anyway, Darby came by. She is actually still here. No one is letting me have a moment alone. I mean, I appreciate it, but I also want to be able to cry without feeling like I have to feel better instantly. You know what I mean?” she asked.
I nodded, recalling the days after my wife died.
“I understand more than you could imagine.”
I stood and turned off the lights in the room before grabbing my blanket from the side table to lie down.
“Let me hear it. I can’t be the only one sharing my deepest, darkest secrets.”
I chuckled. “Was that really a dark secret, Baby? We all know you want us to leave you alone.”
She rolled her eyes and pulled her blanket down a little to show me she meant business.
“I’m fucking around. I got you, Boss lady.” I cracked.
“Keep it up, Desmond,” she warned.
I loved the sound of my name rolling off her tongue. I didn’t mind her calling me Doc, but it felt better when she switched up.
“A’ight, I got you. Nah, but all jokes aside. After Veronica died, it was that way for me. I had a fresh infant that I didn’t know what the fuck to do with. My parents moved in temporarily, and I thanked God profusely for them. But some days I wanted to sit in my room and shed those tears that I deserved. But when the people around you love you, they don’t want to see you that way.”
“I can’t imagine it. You know it was different for me in that situation. I was the baby who just missed the touch of her mother. It wasn’t until I got older that I started to notice all the things I didn’t have but other kids did. It wasn’t until Maria came around that I truly noticed how much I hadn’t missed. My dad had filled in as many spaces as he was physically and mentally capable of doing. It’s one of the reasons I will always have a special place in my heart for my dad. For Maria. The people left behind after a situation like that have so many variables. Especially since my situation could have been avoided.”
The last line was news to me. We hadn’t talked about this in depth as we were tonight. But I was happy she felt comfortable enough to share.
“The doctor blatantly ignored my mom and her discomfort. So did the nurses. I want to say the knowledge differed from what you have today. But, according to my dad, my mom told them on more than one occasion that she wasn’t feeling right. Her numbers even showed things were off, but they wanted her bed at the hospital. Long story short, I didn’t have to lose my mother, but negligence took her.”
I hated to hear stories like this. It’s why I went so hard when it came to my job. Although I understood I wasn’t God, I wanted to make sure I did everything I could. And that my head was on straight when it came to doing my job.
“I hate to hear that. It’s one of the reasons I go so hard in my position. I in no way believe I am God. But I like to make sure I handle what I can. When Veronica passed, I can say from a doctor’s point of view, there was nothing he could do. She had an underlying health issue neither of us was aware of. It was something dormant within her body. The stress of giving birth allowed it to rise and caused her to pass. I was hurt, but it wasn’t a medical mishap.”
“I always wondered if I would have been able to accept, she was gone easier if it was no one’s fault, if I had no one to blame,” she finally spoke.
“Would you really have had no one to blame, though? It’s human to want an outlet for pain. If it isn’t the doctor, it’s God. I went there for a while myself. My mom checked me quickly. She reminded me that God isn’t the one taking life—He’s the one welcoming us home when our time here is done. But that only makes sense if you’ve built a relationship with Him.”
“I hear you. I guess we say all this to say. It’s okay to feel.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, Baby. It’s alright to feel, but you can’t stay there. Soon, it’s going to be time to get up and make some things shake.”
Yara groaned and then smiled. “Okay, if I have to be a grownup, let’s save it for tomorrow.”
I shook my head as my eyes began to get heavy. “Good, because you have an opportunity to obtain a grant with the hospital for the Academy. I’ll make sure you get this number, but I need you to pull out all of your best shit.”
“Wait, what?” she asked.
Her voice perked up, so I peeled open my eyes to look at her.
“I may or may not have talked to the hospital director about you. I didn’t bring up the fire; I’ll leave that up to you, but I talked about the school and what it has done for Esa. She’s interested in hearing more, but from you.”
“Let me find out this pussy got you pulling strings,” she teased.
I laughed.This woman is out of control.
“Don’t let the director hear you saying that. But if you must know, you could have it all after I tasted that muthafucka.”
