Page 68 of Karma
Sniffling, he wipes his eyes and opens the letter. His breath hitches at the familiar handwriting. Why didn’t she write him as many letters as Margaret? Maybe he could have pushed past the grief faster.
Zane,
I hope Lex was able to give you this letter soon after my funeral, but I have a feeling it’s taken at least a year. Hopefully not much longer. I had very strict instructions for her. She’d know when you were ready to move on.
Now, if I know you, you’re struggling with the guilt. You feel like you’re betraying me, but the truth is, I need you to move on. You aren’t good alone, baby. And Margaret deserves a mother figure in her life.
Falling in love with someone doesn’t take away the love we had. Fallingin love with another woman means I’ve done my job and taught you that it’s okay to open your heart that tends to close itself off. You may get hurt, but you may find your forever. The same one we thought we’d have, and it’s okay. I want this for you and for our daughter.
I need you to show her it’s all okay. My only request is that you don’t forget me. It’s okay if you don’t think about me every day, but I want Margaret to look back and remember the years we spent as a family. Even if it’s just my birthday.
Do me a favor, baby. Don’t let my death be a day of mourning. In fact, I’d rather you both forget it altogether.
Celebrate me and welcome the woman you’re ready to let into your heart to the family. Let her know I’m happy for you two. Unless it’s a club bunny. If that’s the case, she won’t be around long. Like I mentioned, I gave Lex specific instructions.
Our love made me so happy, and I will be happy watching over you as you find a way to love again. Find your happiness. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. Even when I was scared and wanted to run, knowing how much it would hurt you if I left held me back. You deserve only happiness in this world, my love.
Love you forever,
Lane
“I’ll never forget you. You’re a big part of who I am, good and bad, and I love you. Even though Lex is done with my ass, she saw my struggle with Anne and kept her promise to you.”
Zane chuckles and wipes at his tears. His wife always knew him better than he knew himself.
“You’re right. I feel like I’m betraying you when I’m with her. But I do need to move on, baby. I am no good alone.”
His lip trembles as he stares at her letter, some of his guilt lifting. He swallows and tries to gather his strength. This has been incredibly difficult, and he’s not really sure where to go from here.
“I don’t think I ever really moved on after Mom died, and I don’t want that for Margaret. She doesn’t deserve the anger I’ve held onto my entire life. You set a better example for her than I ever did. Thank you for being a good mom, baby. Even from beyond the grave.”
Heading to his motorcycle, he lets out a shaky breath and looks up at the sky one last time. Both women watch over him, and it kills him to know how disappointed his mother has been in him for so long. And Lane shares that sentiment.
It’s time to try to redeem myself. And there’s only one place to start.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Griffin’s Beach
Zane
Sitting on the front step of VP’s house, Zane waits, his leg bouncing as he glances at his phone for the fifty-seventh time in the past two minutes.
A familiar yet older version of his daughter walks on the sidewalk by herself, earbuds visible with her hair swept up on the top of her head.
Just like your mom. That woman could find a song for every emotion she ever felt. Every situation in her life could be tied to at least one song. Music healed her soul.
Margaret looks up as she reaches the driveway and stops dead in her tracks when she sees her father. Her eyes widen, and she pulls one of the earbuds out of her ear but remains where she is.
She wears tall socks with black converse shoes, a black and green plaid skirt, and one of Lane’s black band T-shirts tucked in the waistband. A band Zane likely couldn’t name one song of, but Lane could have recited her favorite lyrics.
“Dad?”
“Hey, baby,” Zane says with a tentative smile.
How the fuck did I miss over a year of her life? How the hell could I be so damn selfish?
“What are you doing here?” Margaret asks, her eyes glancing around. “Is Grandpa okay?”
