Page 49 of Healer
She had carved out a permanent home in the depths of my soul, filling it with warmth and light. My mate, my heart, my everything. Yet despite the powerful feelings bombarding my heart, I couldn’t bring myself to speak the words aloud. To claim her as mine… to issue that prayer would garner the attention of the goddess Valana and initiate the valakana, a ritual I knew Agnes could not possibly survive in her current state.
There were other words, though. Words that seemed dull and inadequate compared to the overwhelming emotions bubbling in my heart for her. Words that felt like mere placeholders, unable to fully capture the depth of my feelings. Words Agnes would understand, and so they would have to suffice for now.
I stroked my fingertips along her cheek... a feather’s touch.
“You are not a burden. It is my greatest honor to care for you.” I took a deep breath, pouring every ounce of my heart and soul into the words foreign to my tongue. “I love you, Aggie.”
Fat teardrops fell from her lashes, and her eyes cut to where my hand stroked through her silvery hair. Agnes grimaced, but this time, the expression held disgust, not pain.
“Old.”
I lowered my head, ever so gently brushing my lips across hers.
“Whether your hair is brown or gray, you are the most beautiful female I’d ever known. My fingertips wiped away her tears, stopping to stroke along the lines at the corner of her eyes. “I like the lines. They make you look smart.”
Agnes grimaced again, but I detected the faintest uplift to the corner of her lips this time.
“Asshole.” she quipped, fire dancing in her gray eyes.
“There’s my Aggie.”
Her gaze met mine and held. She drew a deep breath, taking her time... pushing the words from her lips slowly, with great effort.
“I love you too.”
Gingerly, barely touching, I leaned my forehead against hers, breathing in her scent. The acridness had abated somewhat, revealing her normal floral scent, although somewhat muted.
“My Aggie.”
We lingered, my hand stroking through her hair, our breaths mingling, creating a sense of intimacy and connection until Siereita returned with the tea. The concoction’s bitterness perfumed the air, but I detected the scent of analgesic properties in the mix.
Agnes groaned in pain as I shifted her into a sitting position, but a firm nod of her head bade me continue. I slippedonto the bed and pulled her to rest against my chest since she could not sit up on her own. I waited for the tea to cool before helping Agnes take a sip. She had difficulty swallowing, and I trailed my finger down the front of her throat with each sip to assist. I kept each touch gentle and light, yet it still elicited a grimace or moan. My wonderful mate proved stubborn and persisted until finishing over half the tea.
Siereita took the empty cup and promised to return with something more nourishing, scolding that it wouldn’t do anyone any good if I made myself sick. After she left the room, I slipped from behind Agnes, carefully trying to disturb her fragile form as little as possible. Tears glistened in her eyes as I eased her head against the pillows, the weight of her agony evident in every movement.
“I know you are in pain, my love,” I soothed her and promised. “The tea should help.”
“It does,” she insisted, her voice sounding slightly stronger. The gray eyes met mine again, shimmering with unshed wetness.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?” I knelt by the bed, stroking the tears away, but not fast enough to stop the growing wetness on her cheeks.
She didn’t answer, only gave a jerky shake of her head while the gray eyes flashed with something that might have been shame.
“Tell me, my Aggie.”
She glanced away, unable to meet my gaze, and her lower lip trembled with the admission.
“I have to pee.”
Silently, I scooped Agnes into my arms and carried her to the bathroom. Tears streamed down her face, but I knew this time it wasn’t from pain. She felt embarrassed, which seemed silly to me since spending time with my head between herthighs ranked as one of my favorite pastimes. But this wasn’t about our intimate knowledge of each other’s bodies. This was about her loss of control and independence. Rage flared toward those who had done this to her, and I vowed to make the entire Ulkommanian race pay for hurting her. For now, though, my every move, my every word served to show Agnes that I considered it my greatest honor to care for her.
Once finished, I gently scooped Agnes into my arms and carried her back to the bedroom. Although her cheeks remained a deep pink, her body relaxed, giving me hope that the tea had managed to give her some relief. Thankfully, the tea held somnolent as well as analgesic effects, and Agnes’ eyes drooped as I laid her against the pillows, covering her naked form with a lightweight blanket.
“Rest, my Aggie. I’ll be right here.” I stroked my fingers through her hair, noticing that it seemed to calm her despite the laboriousness of her breathing. Thankfully, she was asleep within minutes.
I needed to find a way to help her. I had no knowledge of this ALS and my memory files had so far proven woefully inadequate. I reached for the Medi-unit atop of the dresser… a useless piece of technology without a power source. Siereita owned a Gilese crystal, given to her by an admirer, but it proved too small to power the unit. Still, I couldn’t help but try repeatedly removing and reseating the crystal, sending silent prayers to the goddess, hoping the machine would magically come to life each time. The futility of my efforts weighed heavily, yet I couldn’t give up hope that, somehow, I would find a way to make it work. I had too… for Aggie.
