Page 35 of Healer
“Come. I hear some of those things you callchic-enup ahead. I will hunt for you.”
Wrapping her fingers with mine, we moved further along the path until I found a tree with low branches that would suffice as a hunting blind. I settled into a crouch, Agnes at my side, and waited. It took only a few minutes for one of the ugly feathered creatures to waddle nearby. I dispatched it easily with a flick of my blade.
“You’re pretty good at this warrior-hunter thing,” Agnes observed, as I retrieved our prey.
“It’s in my blood.”
I carried the bird to where she waited, proud when she seemed pleased by the prize. “Vaktaire are bred to be warriors and protectors.”
I settled on the ground and began to skin and gut our meal. We would need a fire to cook the bird, but the nearer dark we waited, the better. Smoke from a fire would reveal our position, even with the heavy canopy overhead.
Agnes settled beside me, her soft breasts pressing against me as she watched.
“So, if being a warrior is in your DNA, how did you become a healer?” She asked as I fileted the meat from the bone.
“It’s a long story.”
Agnes issued a playful snort, gesturing around at the jungle, her message clear. We had all the time in the world. Yet eternity didn’t seem long enough to keep the memories buried. I met her gaze, the gray eyes full of affection and acceptance. If I held hope that she might truly be mine, she deserved to know all of me, even my shame.
Memories occupied a portion of my brain untouched by knowledge—a place buried deep but always lingering just below the surface. Sometimes, it took conscious effort to keep them buried. Other times, I felt guilty at how much time passed without a thought of him.
“I didn’t always want to be a healer,” I smiled, but the flash of expression on Anges’ face told me that the gesture came across as sadder than I intended.
I took a deep breath and continued walking through the past.
“My father and brother distinguished themselves in battle, which is what I wanted for myself.”
“What changed?” The tender touch of her fingers on my arm made the fog of memory seem not so daunting.
“Battle… blood and too much death,” I said after a moment’s hesitation, chaotic visions dancing behind my eyes.
The hand on my arm issued a gentle squeeze that sent a jolt of electricity through my body. My muscles tensed in response. It was as if her fingers held magic, a power that comforted my soul and sparked desire. I wanted her, and not just her body. I wanted her respect, admiration, and affection with an intensity that felt foreign to me. Her hand on my arm kept me steady and determined to see my confession through.
“Long ago, before I joined the Bardaga, I followed in the footsteps of the males in my family and joined the Alliance armies. The last great war… the Vaktaire Romvesian skirmish began shortly after. My brother Hatka was a seasoned soldier given command of his own platoon. He had me placed with him….” My voice trailed off, the presence of my brother so strong in my memory that I swore I caught a whiff of his scent. “Hatka was always protective of me.”
The recollection shifted, stained red and dark. The screams of my comrades exploded like bombs in my memory. I swallowed hard, the revulsion as thick on my tongue as it had been in the moment, and a shudder rippled over my skin. Feeling the tremor, Agnes’ touch halted, fingertips pulling away only to land on my shoulder, moving in a soothing circular motion.
“Our first mission was on planet Waqqas—a backwater place rich in minerals and other natural resources. The Romvesians had been driven away in a previous battle, and our orders were simply to protect the inhabitants and secure Alliance interests. What my brother didn’t know… what nobody knew, was that deep within the mines lived vicious beasts. Guardians of the planet awakened and enraged by the recent conflict.”
I shuddered again as the recollection gushed forward like blood spurting from a fatal wound.
“They attacked at night… decimating half our platoon before we realized what happened. The rest of us made a stand, but the beasts proved too numerous… too fast and strong. We were not equipped for battle. Even if we had been, I doubt it would have made a difference. I would have died had my brother not taken the killing blow meant for me. He fell… and covered me with his body so the creatures wouldn’t realize I survived. There was so much blood. I held him as he bled out. He just... died. I possessed no knowledge… no skill to save him. Holding my brother’s body and listening to the screams of those dying around me, I made a vow to the goddess. If I survived, I swore to devote myself to life and not death. When the Alliance transport came for survivors, I left the army and joined the healing corp.” A rueful laugh grated from my lips. “My father hasn’t spoken to me since.”
“Oh, Hakkar,” Agnes’ voice warbled with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”
As her tiny arms wrapped around my shoulders, I felt the warmth of her embrace seeping into my skin. Despite her lack of physical strength, Agnes held onto me with fierce determination, providing a sense of comfort. The weight of my worst memory seemed to lessen with her nearness, like a weight lifted from my shoulders.
“My brother’s death is my greatest shame,” I admitted, laying my cheek atop her head. The breeze stirred her silky hair, the strands tickling as they brushed against my skin.
“Why?” Her voice sounded shocked and resistant to the idea.
I raised my head to gaze at her, stunned by the depth of empathy in her eyes. “He died. A healer could have saved him, but I did nothing.”
Agnes’ chest rose and fell with a deep, calming breath. Her gray eyes searched my face intently, as if trying to read my thoughts. Slowly, her hand lifted and rested against my cheek, the warmth of her touch sending a shiver down my spine. She pressed her lips to mine gently, her breath warm against my skin. As she pulled away, she laid her head against the curve of my shoulder. The moment felt suspended in time, two souls entwined in an unspoken understanding and affection.
“There’s a saying on Earth,” she murmured, her fingers moving in a tender massage up and down my spine. “You did what you knew how to do at the time. When you knew better, you did better.”
I snorted, accepting the words without acknowledging the meaning.
