Page 59 of Drive Me Wild
“Pretty much. They don’t always tell you they did, but you can almost guarantee the car has a name.”
Tommy seems jovial. I don’t know if it’s the beer or because he’s going to race soon.
“Listen, man, I just wanted to pop by and say hi. And to give you a warning. Laura saw you coming in the gate, and she’s madder than a hornet. I heard her griping about you turning her down a few weeks ago.” Tommy stands up and tips his hat at me. “Nice to meet you, Zoe.”
I feel my throat tighten as Tommy ambles off. Caleb snakes his arm around me and squeezes my hip.
“So, who’s Laura?”
“Just a woman I know from the track.”
“Then why is she mad at you?”
“You know I’ve been with, um… a lot of women, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, she’s who I used to hang out with when I was here at the track. Or, she’s the last one.”
“So there’s more than one woman here who you’ve had sex with?”
Caleb looks down at his feet and nods his head, and I feel sick in my stomach.
What if they’re better at sex than I am?Will he get bored with me and come back here?
If they hang around the race track, they probably have more in common with Caleb than I do. My mind starts spinning as I think about all the pretty women we passed walking to the concession stand and through the bleachers. I’d noticed a lot of people looking at us, but I just figured it’s because he’s been racing here. What if they were women he’s been with? What if they think I’m just like them?
“Caleb?” I whisper.
“Yeah?”
I don’t know what I want to say because I suddenly feel like I’m in a fishbowl, and all eyes are on us.
“Why me?”
“What?”
“Why did you decide to be in a relationship with me and not one of them?”
He turns toward me and gently puts his hand on my cheek, turning my face toward him.
“Because when I’m with you, I feel like I can be the man I’ve always wanted to be. I don’t have to hide behind a mask. I don’t have to be the person everyone expects. I can be more.”
“But what if you grow tired of that? Isn’t it exhausting trying to be someone new?”
“Zoe.” He plants a kiss on my lips and lingers there a few moments, his nose pressed to the side of my nose, his lips only a hair’s breadth away. “You inspire me. You ignite me. I’ll never grow tired of that.”
I nod, but my stomach is still doing somersaults, and I wonder if I need something to settle it down. “I’m going to go get some french fries and ginger ale. Do you want anything?”
He shakes his head and hands me his wallet. I thank him, stuff it in my pocket, and walk to the concessions, trying to stop myself from looking at every woman here.
I duck into the toilet first to check on my hair. Even though I know he believes what he says about us, I can’t help but want to appear worth it. It seems shallow, but I want him to think I’m the prettiest woman here.
I touch up my lipgloss and run my fingers through my hair, replacing my stocking cap. Suddenly, I regret wearing all these layers. I feel frumpy, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
After washing my hands, I walk out to the concession stand and get in line. There are a few boisterous people around, and the announcer is talking about the next race. Cars are enteringthe track and revving their engines, and the whole thing is loud and dirty.
Part of me hates it, and I worry about that. I worry that this thing that he obviously loves is something that we won’t have in common. I worry that we have very little in common, and again, my mind starts to spin.
