Page 50 of Drive Me Wild
“Me too. I know they were concerned I would hurt you, but Zoe, that’s not going to happen. I’m a different man now. Because of you.”
“How—how are you different because of me?”
“Do you remember the night of the concert? When we were talking right before you got the call that your mom had broken her leg?”
“Yeah?”
“And you told me you wanted more from life than just what you’re good at?”
“Yeah?”
“It did something to me. It cracked me open.” He presses a hand to his chest. “I was living my life going through the motions, doing only what I was good at. I wasn’t pursuing anything or trying to be something more than everyone expected me to be. But when you said that, it’s like the lights turned on. I suddenly saw my life for what it is. What I was.”
“And?”
“I wasn’t the man I wanted to be. I was the man everyone expected.”
“So that’s why you’re doing the robotics club?”
“And why I gave up racing cars and partying. And why I stopped having sex with all those other women. And why I’m making my sculptures. My art.”
I feel my throat catch. I want to ask him more questions, but I’m afraid that even though he says he wants a relationship, he won’t really want it when he knows that I want the full-meal deal.
Kids. House. Dogs. Picnics and camping trips. And I want to do it all while I run my own business. While I take over Mabel’s bookstore.
But I realize that even though I am falling hard for Caleb and I want it to be with him, he’s given me such a gift that if hedecides it’s not what he wants, I will be okay. Not right away, but someday. And if that day comes, I’ll be confident enough to find the man who does want what I want.
I suck in a breath and decide to brave it.
“Who is the man you want to be, Caleb?”
He runs a finger down my cheek, brushing a few strands of hair out of my face.
“I want what my parents have. Long-lasting love.”
My heart pounds against my sternum. “You want a family?”
“Only if they’re as smart as those robotics kids.” He grabs me and pulls me on top of him so I’m straddling him, and his thick hands are gripping my thighs. “Why? You want to make a baby with me? Because I think we’d have babies that were gorgeous and smart.”
I brace my hands on his muscled chest and look him in the eye. “I want a family, Caleb. I want to buy that bookstore and live in the giant house above it, and I want a barbeque in the backyard with a swing set. I’m not ready to make a baby yet, but that’s what I want.”
He pulls me down and kisses me, soft at first and then deep, wanting, desperate. Any thoughts bubbling in my mind disappear as I give myself over to him, and our bodies become one again.
And again.
And again.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Caleb
Zoe heads home super late after we make a plan to talk with Renée and Cole. She texts me when she gets home, and we stay up another hour talking via text. There’s a warm feeling in my chest, like something gooey and comforting has taken up residence there.
I guess this is what it feels like to be falling in love.
In the morning, I grab some breakfast at The Daily Dose and wait for her to give me the go-ahead to come over. I’m halfway through eating when I get the signal, so I finish the rest in three bites. I’m not normally an animal when I eat, but I’m on the edge of my seat and can’t wait to get this over with.
Not because I’m dreading it. Because I want to start living completely free of the old me. I want to walk down the street with my head high, holding hands with my girl.
My Zoe.
