Page 30 of Drive Me Wild
“My first boyfriend told me that I sucked in bed. That I didn’t turn him on. And so he cheated on me. And I think he must beright because I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what to do. I read that text from that woman about your cock-sicle, and I thought that you have experience and you can show me what a man likes. You can be my sex-pert and show me what to do so I can satisfy my husband.”
“Your husband? Are you secretly married or something?”
“No. I mean my future husband. I’m afraid I won’t find someone or that he’ll cheat on me when he finds out how bad I am.”
“Zoe.” Her name comes out like a growl, and I notice how tense my body is. She’s looking up at me through long dark lashes, pleading in her eyes.
“Please. I haven’t dated anyone in two years because I’m paranoid that I suck at…well, sucking.”
I can’t help but laugh at her attempt at lightening the mood, but I still find my body rigid and fixed against the wall opposite her.
“I’m sorry. But I can’t. I made a promise.”
“A promise? To whom?”
“To myself.”
“And what was the promise?”
“That I wouldn’t touch another woman until…until I figure some things out.”
“When?”
“What?”
“When did you make that promise?”
My heart starts to pound in my chest. I know the answer. It was late spring, the last time I saw Zoe. The night she talked about wanting more.
Her words hit me like lightning, but it took weeks to shift from shock to comprehension. It’s funny that a simple, off-handed comment can change the trajectory of someone’s life, but that’s what happened. I realized I was wasting my life on meaninglessweekend flings and helping my buddies trick out race cars. I did what people said I was good at. Fucking and fixing cars.
“A few months ago. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. Maybe to see if you are sick of celibacy.”
I rub my chin and ignore the spasm I feel in my cock.
“Zoe, I can’t. Cole will kill me. You know that he’s already told me to stay away from you.”
That’s only an excuse because I’m really thinking about if she sees me as someone she could be with. Does her request mean she trusts me more than I think I deserve?
“Yeah, and Renée and Avery told me to stay away from you, too.”
She steps toward me with a gleam in her eye.
“We don’t have to tell them. Our secret.”
I’m pressed against the wall with my arms crossed, and I see her eyes graze across my chest and forearms.
“Zoe.”
Another growl.
“Please, Caleb. The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to meet the man of my dreams and settle down. But I won’t let myself get out there and date if I think I suck. Please.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Tell me things. Show me things. Be my sex-pert.”
