Page 50 of Always There Bayou
Around 7, we decided to call it a night, and I made my way back over to my apartment building, where I knew Denny was waiting for me, thanks to the thread of messages they’d sent saying that they were home and couldn’t wait until I got back. So, as soon as I walked through the door, I sought them out, finding them curled up in a blanket, light snoring as the TV played softly across from them.
I kicked off my shoes and snuggled beside them on the large sectional. They didn’t say anything as they buried their head in my chest, exhaling my scent as I wrapped my arms around them. I could feel my heart syncing with theirs, and I knew in that moment that this was how life was supposed to be.
I knew that I’d trade anything in the world to be able to come home to them every day like this.
14
Weddings Bayou.
CoryTate-March9th, 2025
“Damn, you’re really getting married first,” I say as Harley and I stand behind Simone, watching as she straightens her bowtie in front of the full-length mirror. “How you feeling?”
“Nervous as fuck,” she admits, turning to face us. “I can’t believe that I’m about to be married to the love of my life within the next 30 minutes. Fuck, I can’t believe that I didn’t even know her yet this time a year ago. This shit feels surreal.”
“Believe it,” Harley says, and I nod. “You and Nala are a match made in Heaven, and we’re so happy for you. Your dreams are coming true. Damn.”
“Are you about to cry?” I tease, and she pushes me away softly with a laugh.
“Bruh, shut up,” she replies. “So what if I’m a little emotional? Look at us.” She pauses, glancing from me to Simone as she smiles. “Each of us has been through so much shit in our lives, yet we managed to find our soulmates. We’re going to grow old with them and start families with them. I don’t know about y’all, but that warms my heart.”
“Yeah,” Simone nods, quickly wiping a tear that falls. I do the same, my chest tightening from the feeling building up inside. “We really won at life.”
The room fills with silence as we all take time to think about how well our lives have turned out since meeting all those years ago. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help but get a little emotional as it started to sink in that these two were my best friends for real. Of course, Denny would always be number one, but Harley and Simone were like sisters to me. I wanted nothing but the best for them, just like they wanted the same for me. So, to see Simone living out her dream and knowing that Harley and I would soon follow…yeah, this shit was an incredible feeling.
“Hey, it’s time,” Simone’s mom called as she peeked her head through the door. When her eyes fell on Simone, she gasped. “Baby, you look gorgeous.”
“Thank you, Mama,” Simone smiles as they embrace.
“Are you ready to marry that lovely woman out there?” she asks, and Simone nods. “Then let’s get this show on the road. I’m so ready to finally have a daughter-in-law. Grandbabies next, right?”
“Damn straight,” Simone agreed before exiting the room.
The next hour came and went by in a blur of sweet words, beautiful music, and lots of tears. The whole time I was standing on the side with Harley, my eyes stayed glued on Denny. They looked so gorgeous today in the bridesmaids’ tux that they were excited to wear after Nala extended the invitation for them to be in her wedding party. It's giving me so much joy that Denny had been included, especially because had this wedding happened some months ago, I knew that wouldn’t have been the case.
That’s just a testament to how things can work out when you’re open and honest with yourself. Being in therapy and talking out my feelings, fears, and anxieties with someone outside of my family and friend group has opened my eyes a lot. I spent too much time blaming myself for shit that I couldn’t control, shit that I wasn’t responsible for. I spent so much time taking my anger out on people who didn’t deserve it, or letting people walk over me because I felt likeIdeserved it.
But I think finally hashing out my feelings surrounding my mom’s death was the real eye-opener. For years, whenever someone brought it up, I’d immediately shut down. But as I explained everything that happened to my therapist, she didn’t rush me into speaking faster like my last therapist had all those years ago. No, she genuinely wanted to hear how I felt about the situation, and when I froze at specific points, she only encouraged me, telling me that we had plenty of sessions to talk about it.
When I finally got through the whole story after three sessions, she asked me how it all made me feel, and I think that’s when I broke down harder than I ever had. I told her how tired I was from carrying guilt that I hadn’t done enough. I told her how stressed I always was, how closed off I’d become since I was eleven. I hadn’t realized just how much that whole ordeal had traumatized me until she pointed out the symptoms of PTSD.
Yeah, it was all so scary at first, but after that last session a couple of days ago, I finally felt like things would be okay. I knew that it was gonna take more than three weeks to get me to the place I wanted to be, but I was willing to work on that. I knew that I had people on my side who were there for me, and for the first time in a long time, I was okay with letting them in.
Denny came with me yesterday to have a family meeting with not only my family but hers as well. They stayed beside me as I opened up about everything that had been bothering me over the years. I told them that I was seeing a therapist and that I was working to get better. I promised them, just like I promised myself, that I was going to try my hardest to live the life that I deserved to live. One filled with love, acceptance, and peace.
There were a lot of hugs given and tears shed, but I didn’t mind this time around. I welcomed all of the warm embraces as my body relaxed. I felt at peace. I felt calm. I felt loved. I felt like I was heading in the right direction, and as Denny and I cuddled that night, all I could do was thank them for being there for me since that first day we met on the playground. They were my soulmate, and I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with them as my spouse.
“You look happy.”
I pull myself down from my cloud of thoughts and focus my attention on the gorgeous person in front of me. The wedding had ended a while ago and had since moved on to the reception. I smiled at the laughter and music that filled the room as I motioned for Dennyto sit on my lap. They did as told, wrapping their arms around my neck as I gripped them by the hips.
“I’m very happy, love,” I assure them. “I feel good.”
“Well, I’m happy to hear that,” they smile, leaning down to kiss my cheek softly. Their left hand combs through my locs, and I let out a small moan at their touch. “You look so gorgeous. Damn, I’m so in love with you.”
“Same, Bunny. Same. I can’t wait until it’s you and me standing at that altar. You’re going to be the most gorgeous spouse in the world.”
“And you’re going to be the most gorgeous wife,” they smile, cupping my cheeks in their hands. They kiss me once more before pressing their forehead against mine. “Just promise me that we won’t get married until my Papa gets home.”
