Page 20 of Always There Bayou
“Third of all, you’re scared, so you’re stalling,” he cuts me off. “Get up and go before that stubbornness kicks in.” He walks toward the archway leading out to the hall and turns back to look at me. “And after y’all make up, get a fucking retwist. Your hair looks a mess.”
I flip him off, and he chuckles as he walks down the hall. It’s always the youngest sibling who’s the most annoying, but he was right about what I needed to do. So, I picked up the rest of the set I was working on and carefully transported it up to my room. Once it’s set in the right place, I hop in the shower and wash away the nerves and depression that had been sticking to me since I last saw Denny.
I quickly got dressed and then stuffed my phone and wallet into my pocket, grabbed my keys, and trotted down the stairs. When I make it back to the kitchen, I see that my dad and stepmom have made it home from their full-day date at the spa, and they look so refreshed.
It warmed my heart to see how in love they were, and it gave me hope that one day I’d have that. Yes, it did hurt sometimes to think that my dad and mom didn’t work out, but it wasn’t for lack of trying on his part. I’m just happy he finally found his person, even if it wasn’t with my birth mom. He deserved to be with someone who loved and appreciated him, and that person was Mama B.
“Where are you off to, my love?” she greets me with a hug, and I melt into her embrace. She pulls back to look at me with a warm smile. “This is the most upbeat I’ve seen you in a while. Have you worked things out with you-know-who?”
“No, not yet, but I’m on my way,” I inform her. “They’re back at the apartment, and I’m gonna see if they can spare me some time to talk.”
“Good on you, kid,” my dad adds as he comes over to pat me on the back. “And make sure you tell them you love them.”
“It’s a little too early for all that, Dad,” I chuckle nervously.
“It’s been over 20 years,” he laughs. “I know you’re scared, but Denny would never hurt you, and you know this. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone who treats you right. Stop running away from that, Nugget.”
“Ugh, don’t start that shit up again,” I cringe at the childhood nickname.
He laughs, pulling me into a hug and patting my back. If there was one thing I could never deny, it’s that my dad loved us. He made sure to tell us every day and showed us in the small gestures or advice he gave us. Many people weren’t blessed with an active, emotionally available father, but I was, and I will forever be grateful.
When I finally made it to my car, I checked Denny’s location once more to confirm that they were still at our apartment building. I arrived after a short drive and spotted Denny’s car almost instantly - nerves kicking into overdrive.
In all the years that we’ve known each other, we have never gone more than a couple of days without being in each other’s presence or talking. Hell, even when I played for the Seattle Brewers back when I first got drafted, they moved out to Washington to be close to me, knowing how much I hated being alone. Yet here I’d gone two weeks without so much as a text.
I was regretting my decision as I took the elevator up to the fifth floor – Denny’s floor. My heart was banging against my chest, and for a second, I had a mini panic attack once I finally reached the door. I had the code and keys to their apartment, so Icould’vejust walked in. However, something in me told me to knock. So, I raised my fist to the door, but before I could, I heard a muffled sound on the other side and froze. I stood there for a minute, and then I heard it again, but this time, it was clearer.
“Ooh, fuck! Denny, right there, baby!” I heard a woman’s voice, and my anxiety was at an all-time high.
Was I too late?
“Shit, I knew you were gonna be good, baby,” the voice called again. “Mmm, yes, use that tongue. Ooh, right there, Denny!”
I slowly backed away from the door, shaking as reality started to set in. I quickly turned away from the door and took the stairs two at a time to get up to my apartment on the sixth floor. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I sank to the floor, grabbing at my chest.I had no idea why I was feeling like this. I’d never felt this feeling before. It was a mix of hurt, anxiety, dread, and jealousy wrapped up in one.
I could feel it in my soul that I’d messed up for real this time. I’d taken too long to admit my feelings, and now look where we were. Suddenly, a somber mood washed over me, and I pulled myself from the floor. My head was pounding like crazy, and I did something I knew I was gonna regret. I pulled the brown liquor from the back of my cabinet and popped it open, not even bothering to grab a cup. I took a few swigs and let the liquid burn my chest as tears fell down my face.
I can’t remember much else, but after a while, I blacked out. When I came to again, the room was dark around me, and my head was throbbing. I glanced over at the digital clock and saw that it was well after 8 at night. I needed to get out of here.
I don’t know how I managed to call an Uber, or why I’d put in Harley’s address instead of my dad’s house. All I knew was that by the time Harley got home, some of the alcohol had worn off, but I was still a mess. When she saw me, all she could do was shake her head and help me off the floor outside of her apartment.
“Cory, what’s up, bro?” She asked, and I tried my best to hold back the tears that wanted to fall. “Are you drunk?”
“I was, but I damn near sobered up waiting for you,” I mumbled, leaning my head on her shoulder. “Who cares if I was or wasn’t, though…”
She sighs once more before unlocking the door and guiding me inside. After I’m settled on the couch, she goes to retrieve a bottleof water and some ibuprofen. I groan but take the pills and rest my head against the back of the couch. She sits beside me, no doubt judging me.
“Cory, you should not be driving while you’re wasted like this,” She fusses. “Something terrible could have happened to you or anyone. What were you thinking?”
“I didn’t drive here,” I huff, managing to raise my head enough to stare at her. “I took an Uber. I don’t know why I came here. I guess this was the first place I thought of.”
“Why were you drinking so heavily anyway? You know this isn’t like you.”
I paused, unsure whether I wanted to tell her the truth or not. I knew that she wouldn’t judge me...much, but I’d also never actually told her how I felt about Denny, and I didn’t feel like explaining more than I had to. So, after a bit of debating, I decided to lie and tell her about some random ex that I didn’t care about.
She knew that I’d broken up with Christie, so I was hoping she wouldn’t put two and two together and call me on my bullshit. To my surprise, she just went along with my story, not once saying anything that gave off the impression that she knew I was lying, and I was grateful, happily changing the subject when the time came.
I don’t think I ever fully sobered up, but I remember her dropping off at home and then me barely making it through the door before I collapsed onto the rug in exhaustion.
