Page 36 of Where There's Smoke…
“Sweets...”
“I love you and I appreciate you, Phee, but I can always tell when stuff gets painful for you,” she cuts me off. “I know you want to be here for me, and I’m not stopping you, but I do want you to take a step back, regroup, and then come back. This place brings up terrible memories for you, and you’ve been here day and night since the 26th. Please, baby, just take the weekend and go clear your mind at the cabin.”
“At the cabin?!” I had argued. “That’s two hours away, Sweets. No, come on!”
She places her hands on my shoulders and rubs lightly, a smile gracing her beautiful face, and I feel my anger dissipating. “Just three days, Phee. I know you need time to yourself, and I want you to have that. I want you to be able to just relax, okay? I promise to call you every day and answer when you call me.”
And that’s how I ended up at the cabin.
Alone and doing my best to clear my mind.
Raven had shown up yesterday with Nori, and she flashed on me for not telling her where I’d gone. I felt slightly guilty because all I’d told her was that I needed her to watch Nori for a few days. I wasn’t sure how she found out where I was, but when she walked through the door, I didn’t have time to react before she asked me to explain how I ended up in the middle of the woods while my girlfriend was still in the hospital.
So, I explained everything to her, and she sat and listened without passing judgment. To my surprise, she agreed with Angel.
“Phee, I know how you can get when it comes to hospitals, so of course, the woman who loves you also picked up on it,” she said. “Besides, y’all do need some time apart. Neither of y’all has had time to process what happened individually. I think this break was as much for her as it was for you. Even though y’all talked about it, I’m sure you both still have some lingering feelings, am I right?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “I’m glad she’s okay, and I feel bad for being mad at her for not listening to me, but I know she probably feels the same.
“Trust me, Phee, I get both sides of it,”she assured me.“If Senior were in the same predicament as you, I wouldn’t have been able to leave him behind either. I don’t care how dangerous it might’ve been; I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself knowing that I left him behind just to save myself. Would you have left her if the roles were reversed?”
“No, but I’m-”
“A firefighter,”she cut me off with a nod.“I know, Phoenix, but when you love someone that strong, none of that shit matters when it comes down to it. All rationality and logic are thrown out the window when it comes to protecting those you love. Was it dumb as hell for her to run back into a burning building? Hell fucking yeah! Was it equally dumb for you not to follow her out? Also, yes! But guess what? Y’all are both alive and well. Do you know the others found you so quickly because they heard her voice through the fire? Phoenix, she saved your life. I’ll forever be grateful to her because…I couldn’t live without my twin.”
She broke down, and I held her tight as I let her words sink in. She was right. I would’ve done the same thing had the roles been reversed, no matter how stupid it was. And I knew that the same was true for Angel. Neither of us would’ve stopped until the other was safe, and as much as that scared me, it also comforted me, and I could finally relax a bit. Maybe Ididneed this time away...
I sit up in bed and slowly bring myself back to the present. Even though I planned to return to Tucker tomorrow morning, I still had a few days left on the mandatory leave I was forced to take after the accident. I assured them that I was fine, but it was in the policy that I had to take at least a week off as a mental health break. I wanted to argue with them, and I did at first, but eventually, I realized they were right. I was feeling more refreshed, and my mind was clearer.
I’ve done nothing but fish and walk through the woods with Nori these past few days. Angel and I talked multiple times a day between her frequent naps and her breathing treatment. She was slowly getting better and expected to return home in a few days. I couldn’t wait to hug her and hold her again.
“Hey, Phee, you in here?”
I pull myself out of my thoughts as my head snaps toward the door. Within seconds, it opens, and Kentrell, Jed, and Emerson greet me. Nori hops off the bed and trots over to greet them, her tail wagging in excitement.
“Hey, Nori. What’s up, girl?” Emerson smiles, and he bends down to pet her.
I stand up and stretch before sitting back down on the edge of the bed, taking in the looks of my friends before me. They were all dressed in comfy clothes, making me wonder why they were here on a weekday. Emerson took a seat beside me and patted my back as the other two continued to stand.
“What’s going on?” I ask, looking around. “Y’all missed me or something?”
“Yes and no,” Kentrell smirks. “Don’t nobody miss your bigheaded ass, but we did come to spend the day with you since we know thatyoumissus.” I roll my eyes. “No, for real, we went to visit Angel, and she wanted us to come out and keep you company for a bit.”
“And to make sure you eat,” Jed asks. “You been eating, cuz?”
“Yeah, I had cereal,” I nod over to the empty bowl.
“We’ll come back to that,” Emerson shakes his head. “How you holding up, though? You know, about…well, everything.”
“I’m in a better place,” I admit with a shrug. “Yeah, there is still some guilt surrounding how I handled this whole situation, but I’m working on that. I just want to be her protector, you know? I didn’t do my role to the best of my ability, and that’s on me.”
“First of all, you gotta stop blaming yourself for what happened,” Kentrell replies. “Both of y’all do. Yes, there were mistakes made, but that’s all over now. The only thing that matters is that you two are safe, which you are.”
“But her bakery…”
“Can get fixed,” Jed interjects, waving me off. “It’s already in the process of being renovated. And your wrist will be healed in no time. Then you’ll be free to run into as many burning buildings as you want.”
“Don’t tell her that!” Emerson fusses, which drew a laugh from me.
