Page 84 of Texas Hold Em'
Suzie seemed to catch onto what was happening and stammered to change the subject. “So uh, what about you and Tex? What’s the game plan after tonight?” She spoke like everything would go perfectly well tonight and the men were only down at the end of the street buying liquor and cigarettes. “Are you guys going to go your separate ways? It’d be a shame. I think Tex really likes you.”
I had a gut feeling he really liked me, too.
“We’ll have things to talk about,” I said, trying to avoid looking Sam in the eyes. There was something going on there. I’d been around my fair share of friends back in Austin who were hiding pregnancies. Sure, they might have said and done all the right things consciously, but there were unconscious habits and instincts that went under theirradar—like a fond touch of their belly, a wistful gaze at a newborn baby, nausea, dizziness.
Sam and Jackson were going to have a baby.
“Well, I kind of hope you stay,” Sam said.
I blinked. “You do?”
Sam laughed at my genuine surprise. “Yes, I do. Suzie and I are totally outnumbered here. There is too much testosterone. Besides, Tex needs a woman like you to keep him in line. And based on everything that’s gone on, I think they all need you.”
That might have been the nicest thing any of them had said to me.
Sam reached over and grabbed my hand. “You’re a badass, Carrie. You saved Mason’s life. You kicked ass last night to orchestrate a plan that has the potential to save us all. We’d all be better for it if you stayed.”
My throat felt a little tight. I cleared it and looked away, afraid my emotions would get the best of me. “Thank you, Sam. That means a lot.”
“And,” she added, “it might be nice to have someone else around who can keep my secret.”
Unintentionally, my eyes swept to her stomach.
Suzie bit her bottom lip. “We can’t say anything to anyone.”
Were they crazy? “Jackson will want to know,” I said. “This news is incredible! After everything that’s happened, I’m sure he feels like he’s been kicked while he’s down for the last five years. But to find out he’s going to be a dad?” I cupped my cheeks in my hands as a warm fuzzy feeling spread through me. “Why don’t you want to tell him?”
Sam shifted forward in her seat and leaned forward. “Carrie, this is very important. I don’t want Jack to know until Bates is out of the picture. He already has too much on his plate worrying about keeping me, his sister, and the MC safe. He has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I should know. He lies in bed staring at the ceiling countless nights, contemplating everything he’s lost and what he still might lose before this is over. If I tell him I’m pregnant, he might not be able to keep his fear at bay. It’s better he doesn’t know.”
The thought of keeping something so huge from the President scared me. “Won’t he be furious that you lied?”
Sam shook her head and leaned back. “No, he’ll understand why I did it, and he’ll be free to celebrate and look forward to fatherhood when that time comes rather than be filled with worry over losing it all.”
I supposed it made sense, but a terrible question rolled around in my brain.
What if Jackson died tonight and Sam never got a chance to tell him he was going to be a father?
Had she thought about that? Did it weigh on her? Was it a risk she was willing to take—a burden she was willing to carry for the rest of her life?
“I know what you’re thinking,” Sam said before sipping her water. “He’s coming home tonight. I’ll have my chance to tell him, and when I do, it will be perfect.”
Suzie smiled. “Exactly.”
Their confidence shook me because I didn’t feel it. Not even a little bit. I’d been eye to eye with Bates. I’d looked into the deep, empty pit of his soul and felt the whispers of evil in their depths spilling over into my heart. I’d felt true fear in his presence, and I’d felt the weight of truth of all his wrongdoings and bad deeds as I breathed in his cigar smoke.
He would kill Jackson if he got the chance tonight. He’d do it however he could pull it off. Bloody, clean, quick or long and torturous, he’d see it through. And the Devils were already down one man. If William had still been alive, they’d be one man stronger.
He would have been an uncle.
I got to my feet. Sam and Suzie looked up at me. “I have to go,” I said.
“Wait,” Sam breathed.
“No.” Suzie got to her feet.
But I wasn’t listening. My decision had been made. There was no way I could sit here on this deck twiddling my thumbs when I knew for a fact I could be useful tonight. I could fill the place of a man whowould fight tooth and nail to protect his brothers. I was just as capable of helping them, of saving them, and of riding with them.
And if they didn’t want me there?
