Page 80 of Texas Hold Em'
As my heartrate slowed and my breathing evened, the storm in my mind returned. There was still tomorrow night to contend with.
And after that? What would I do? Even if things went perfectly, there were so many questions I would have to answer when the night was through and the sun rose the next morning.
Who did I want to be?
Wheredid I want to be?
For such a long time, I felt so steady in the foundation I’d built in Austin. But now, after everything here in Reno—after Tex—I felt anything but steady. The foundation had been ripped out from under me and I wondered if I even wanted that comfort back, or if I was ready to step outside of it and into something new.
Did I want to return to Austin for sure?
No.
Did I want to return to my life enforcing the law?
Sort of.
Did I want my old life and my old jobmorethan I wanted to stay here with Tex?
No.
Tex kissed my cheek and slipped out of the bed to clean up. He’d have to sneak past Brody, and the thought made me smile ever so slightly.
As I lay alone in his bed, my mind buzzing with questions, I realized that this room had begun to feel like home to me. The smells, the creaks of the mattress, the sunshine streaming in through the windows at seven in the morning on the dot, the man I always rolled over to find still sleeping soundly beside me.
After tomorrow, I didn’t think I could trade all of that for my old life. The lines between the right and wrong choice were blurred, and I knew I would have to rely on my heart to see me through. It hadn’t steered me wrong yet. I just needed to have faith in it a little longer.
CHAPTER 33
JAMESON
“It’s good to fucking see you, brother.” Abel threw an arm around my shoulders and slapped me hard in the chest with his other hand.
I grunted and nearly doubled over. “Easy. Holy shit.”
Brody, who stood on my other side, swatted Abel away. “Mind my patient, Snake. He’s got a cracked rib and he was dead for five minutes last night. Be gentle, will you?”
Abel backed off and held both hands up innocently while flashing a charismatic smile. “My bad, my bad. Just glad to see you is all. What a trip last night must have been. How’d it all go?”
Jackson strode out of Grant’s house with his leather jacket thrown over one shoulder. “No time for stories. Save them for when we’re done tonight.”
Abel frowned. “We can spare five minutes.”
Brody rolled his shoulders. “I’d rather not.”
We shared an uneasy look.
Talking about what went down last night wasn’t going to be easy. Neither of us had said a word about it, and truth be told, I was sure we’d both prefer never to have to think about it again. When the defibrillator plan turned out to be a major bust and a short-sightederror, we’d had to take things into our own hands to make sure the plan went ahead.
Brody definitely drew the short end of the stick there.
Abel nudged Brody in the ribs. “When we get back from the landfill tonight I want to hear every grisly detail.”
Brody ran a hand over his head. “Yeah, yeah. Sure thing, Snake.”
It was just past nine o’clock on Friday night, and there was a fall chill in the air that I welcomed. Carrie and I had arrived at Grant’s place just shy of an hour ago after spending the entire day lounging around my apartment, talking about anything and everything other than Bates. Once we’d arrived and all the other MC members showed up, she and I had been pulled apart. Sam and Suzie wanted to talk to her about last night, and the men wanted to talk to Brody and me.
Carrie and I had shared looks across the porch all evening, and now it was nearly time to go.
