Page 64 of Texas Hold Em'
She sobbed harder than ever—so hard I worried she couldn’t breathe—and curled into the fetal position in my lap. She was naked and so vulnerable, and I didn’t know what else I could do for her. She felt so fragile in my arms, like a small bird with broken wings, and she needed me.
But what if I wasn’t enough?
“Carrie,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
She sobbed harder.
Fuck.
I stopped trying to talk. Nothing I could say would spare her this pain, so I held her tighter, kissed the top of her head, and let her cry. She didn’t hold back. Her pain poured out of her and threatened to destroy me. I hated how helpless I felt.
What was worse?
I hated that I was the only one who could fix this, but I couldn’t.The only way to spare her this suffering would be to go back on the plans we’d made. To bow out. To give in.
I simply couldn’t do that.
So I let her cry.
When she started to tremble, I brought her back down under the blankets with me. I kept a strong hold on her, keeping her crushed up against me as I brought the blankets up and tucked her in. Her shivering stopped quickly, and she wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her tear-soaked cheek to my chest. Her sobs slowed, and her breathing evened out, but we didn’t move.
Finally, she spoke. “I dreamed you were dead.”
I felt shallow. While she was tortured by her nightmare, I dreamed of coming home late one night and finding Carrie, naked, straddling my motorcycle in the middle of my apartment. No, the dream didn’t make sense, but everything we’d done after I found her?
Well, nothing made more sense than that.
“I dreamed it all went wrong,” she whispered. “I’m so scared for you, Tex. I don’t want to do this.”
“I know.”
“Please don’t make me.”
Her words threatened to drown me.
Gently, I pulled her away so we could lie face to face on our pillows and talk. I needed to look her in her eyes. I needed to see her understand my words.
I cupped her cheek. “Have you forgotten who you are, Carrie Hart? You’re the tough as nails Ranger who doesn’t take shit from anyone. You came here to expose police corruption and put an end to Walter Bates. And you’re doing it. You knew it wouldn’t be easy. You knew there would be risks, and you did it anyway, because that’s who you are. It’s whoweare.”
She sniffled. “We?”
“Rangers.”
Carrie’s sniffles stopped.
“If I still wore the badge,” I said slowly, “you would let me make this choice, wouldn’t you? You would trust me?”
She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek more firmly into my palm.
“Answer me, Carrie.”
She licked her lips. “Maybe.”
“Open your eyes.”
Her eyes fluttered open and danced with tears.
“I’ve escaped death more times than I can count on both hands,” I told her. “If tonight is the night I go? Well, I’ve already made my peace with that, especially if it means finding justice for William.”
