Page 24 of Texas Hold Em'
CARRIE
Tex used to be a Texas Ranger?
“Is that why they call you Tex?” I asked daftly.
He chuckled as he got to his feet. “You’re clever.”
“Ha ha.” I followed him into the kitchen, where he opened the fridge and grabbed two cans of beer. He cracked one and handed it to me before doing the same with his own. He took a greedy gulp, and a trickle ran down his chin.
I had half a mind to grab him and lick it off, but I stayed put.
He collected our clothes off the floor and put his boxers on. I put my underwear on but not my jeans. Those went straight into the garbage bin under his kitchen sink, and so did my destroyed denim jacket.
Tex snatched it out of the bin. “You could salvage this with some patches.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
He frowned and ran his thumbs over the denim. He set it down on his kitchen counter before going into the living room and falling gracelessly onto his couch. I joined him and tucked my legs up under myself.
“Tell me more about your time as a Ranger,” I said. “Why did you join?”
Tex stared at his beer can. “You know, sometimes I ask myself the same question. I’m not the same man I was back then. Too much has happened between then and now. I used to think the law was righteous and good in all its forms. I thought I could make a real change and help people. But…” He trailed off and shrugged. “It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.”
I knew what he was talking about. I’d spent more time at a desk filling out paperwork than I had out on the streets making any real difference for people who needed it.
“So you quit because you felt stuck?” I asked, understanding that feeling all too well. I loved my career. I was proud of it. It took a lot of discipline and energy for me to succeed as a Ranger. It wasn’t something I could have easily washed down the drain.
“No,” he said, his voice sounding farther away. “No, I didn’t feel stuck.”
“Then why did you leave?”
He sighed. “The cost was too high.”
“How do you mean?”
He studied me. “Do I strike you as someone who’s good at following the rules?”
“No,” I said. “Not even a little bit.”
“Well, me ten years ago wasn’t good at following rules either. Or orders. And when I got sick of filling out reports while real crime was happening right under my nose, I took matters into my own hands and started going after the big guys in Austin who were creating problems for the city. Trouble is, when you’re a rookie and you hit the bad guys where it hurts, they hit back ten times harder.”
Oh.Had he lost someone?
My stomach twisted in knots. “Not many people have the guts to try in the first place. What happened?”
Tex stared at the wall, his eyes unfocused and glazed. “I lost people. Family. I had to walk away from them because my choices put them in harm’s way. I had to walk away from everything. The job. My life. Myfamily. My city. All of it, all because my ego was too big and I thought life was like the movies. I thought I had a fighting chance.” He laughed without humor. “I was fucking wrong.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek. “How long has it been since you talked to your family last?”
He tipped his head back and drained half his beer. “Eight years.”
Eight years?
I couldn’t imagine going that long without speaking to my father. It would destroy me. But if I had to do it for his own good? For his life?
I would.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly.
