Page 57 of A Fate of Blood and Magic
His words landed like a pit in my stomach. “I’m sorry, Alastor. I?—”
“We are done, Elias.” His words vibrated with barely restrained fury.
With that, he walked away, damning me with every step he took.
Emotions rattled, I jolted when Everly rested a hand on my shoulder. “We must continue taking our people back.”
Guilt settled deep within me, and I let it take root alongside all my other mistakes.
I nodded.
For hours, long after the sun rose, I brought each fae home. Several dozen fae who could bend space helped while healers mended those they could. At some point, Teddy arrived with Javier and his friends. While Javier, Delaney, and Aidas helped wherever needed, Teddy and Kieren searched for his father, who, unfortunately, was not among those we’d brought back to the healers.
Teddy kept a steady hand on his arm as I led them to one of our courtyards, where those who’d died were laid out for loved ones to identify. They were filthy with the dirt the humans had piled over them when they’d buried them and would have to be cleaned before we paid them our respects.
When we arrived, panic coiled down my spine. Words stuck in my throat so thick I couldn’t force out a cough.
“If you send me what your father looks like through our mental connection, I can search for him,” Teddy offered, her voice gentle.
Kieren shook his head. A few beats passed where they spoke through their minds, while Kieren stared at the ground. Although he towered over her, Teddy put her arm around his back. He leaned into her as they walked through our dead. He kept his head bowed, and I assumed he’d sent Teddy an image of his father since she was the one who looked.
Chills spread across my skin in apprehension. With every fae they passed, the knot in my stomach loosened until I could finally draw in a solid breath when they returned.
“He isn’t there?” I asked.
“No,”Kieren sent through his mind.
“We’ll find him, Kieren,”I said.
He gave me a tentative smile. I held the back of his neck and dropped my head to touch his forehead.
“You have my word. We’ll find your father.”
“Thank you.”Those two words came out on a sigh, as if he believed me while his expression grew doubtful.
Although my attention was needed in a thousand different areas, I followed Teddy when she led me to an empty courtyard. With my body heavy, I sat on the bench that faced the garden my mother once tended to, and she sat on my lap.
She kissed my forehead, and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer. When I went to kiss her again, she nudged my nose with the edge of hers. I captured her face with my hands and drew her in for a desperate kiss.
On her lips, I didn’t taste my mounting failures. In her eyes, I only saw the love she held for me. Although I didn’t deserve it, I drank it in. I drank her in.
I wanted to get lost in Teddy and never resurface.
Begrudgingly, I pulled back and turned my attention away from her.
“You should go see Alastor,” I said. “He lost a lot of his people today.”
She angled her head to the side, and her throat quivered when she swallowed. “He reached out to me through his mind when he came through the veil. He didn’t mention losing anyone but told me it’d been a hard night and I should come see you.”
The guilt in my chest built higher, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to climb over it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“I know you’re busy here, but you should come with me to see how we can help Alastor’s people,” she said.
“He won’t want me there.” When my hands shook, I tightened them into fists. “I made a terrible mistake today, Teddy. I—one of his lirio needed a healer, and I refused to bring him to one of ours until I finished bringing my people.”
In my arms, she stiffened. I wanted to look away from the frown she gave me but forced myself to meet her disappointment.
“I don’t know if Ilgirth, the lirio, made it back. If he died, it’s on me.” I was gentle when I moved Teddy off me so I could stand to pace. I dragged my fingers through my hair and snarled. “He lost thirty-six of his lirio today. I don’t know how many nyxx, only that none of them survived.” I stopped to face her, and I wondered if the expression I wore mirrored her devastation. “They went of their own free will. Alastor said he hasn’t had a hold on them in months. The lirio have been helping me because they chose to. Today, too many of them sacrificed their lives for my people, and I hesitated—was ready to refuse to bring one lirio back to Niev to see a healer.”
