Page 132 of A Fate of Blood and Magic
“Donnie is your friend too.” My voice came out foreign as I stared at my best friend through the foggy haze of my frustration.
“And I would’ve mourned his death.” George raked his fingers through his long hair and snarled. “You saved one life, Elias. One. What of your babes, who will become orphans before they reach adulthood? What of those babes, one of whom will be forced into becoming a king before he is ready? What of your people who were entrusted into your care?”
Each question lashed against me, cutting me deeper with the truth behind them.
I’d been selfish in my desire to stay with Teddy, in not wanting to live a single breath without her.
While Teddy had realized what we’d done to our twins, to our other kids, and Brenton shortly after she’d tended to Alastor’s headache, it hadn’t even occurred to me. It shamed me that I hadn’t thought of anyone aside from myself.
“What of us?” He thumped an open palm against his chest. “What of your friends, who have stood by your side? We grew up together. We . . .” He shook his head when his voice broke.
My primal instincts slipped away when I saw the way unshed tears brimmed behind his eyes. I stepped into him, forcing him into a hug. I felt it when his anger began to dissolve, felt it when he hooked his hands behind my back to return my embrace. I slapped his back before I stepped away, quickly wiping at a stray tear.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, staring at his black boots thatcontrasted the surrounding white snow. “I didn’t think about anyone but myself.”
I forced my attention up, meeting his hurt eyes with the guilt that lived inside me.
“I didn’t know what to do,” I admitted. “One beat, I was witnessing Teddy fall apart in our realm, and the next I was in the astral realm. I didn’t have time to mull over my decision and before I could truly think it over, I was saying goodbye to my mother. It all happened so fast. Too fast. I didn’t have time to think of the consequences.” And now I was living the torment of my decision. Every day, my soul yearned for the missing pieces I’d stripped myself of.
But Donnie got to live because of our decision. While I’d wanted to save him for Teddy, I later realized how the people of our kingdom would benefit from having someone like Donnie in a leadership role. It was why I wanted him to become one of my head advisers.
“I’m sorry I didn’t think of you, Everly, or Brent,” I said. “I didn’t think about my babes or the people of my kingdom. I thought solely of myself, of the harrowing pain I’d have to live through if Teddy died years before me. I was ready to live it, though, until Eiran offered to tie my life to hers. It didn’t feel like much of a choice.”
“I understand that, or I’m trying to, but if fate decided it was Donnie’s time to die, then he should’ve died,” George argued. “What right do we have to meddle in such affairs?”
While I’d thought he’d simply been angry with my decision, I now saw that his anger came from hurt. It was why I stayed my own fury.
“Did you feel the same when Teddy saved Brenton?” I asked. “Or when Teddy saved you from Leanora’s attack with fae root? You both would be dead right now if not for her. Howcould I not do the same for her best friend when she’d been willing to sacrifice herself for both of you?”
He sighed, his eyes lightening in color while his canines drew in.
“Neither of you would ever have asked Teddy to make such a sacrifice,” I said, my throat feeling suddenly dry. “Donnie wouldn’t have asked it of her either. Once he knows the extent of our sacrifice, I anticipate him being upset with us too.”
That made George cough out a dry chuckle, and it felt like a peace offering.
“Have you spoken to him since the attack?” he asked.
“Not really.” We’d exchanged some awkward words but hadn’t even tried to skirt around the difficult discussions that still awaited us. “I want him to heal without me intruding.”
George tilted his head up, his eyes watering again. But he wouldn’t cry. Not in front of anyone at least. His shoulders lifted with his heavy sigh.
“I’m not angry with you, Elias.” The words came out low as he spoke them into the sky. “I can understand why you’d match your life span to Teddy’s. I can even understand your reasoning for saving Donnie. I don’t like it, but I understand it.”
I nodded, searching his features for more. I didn’t anticipate him forgiving me so easily, but he’d stand by my side when the need arose.
“I appreciate that. Do you understand why I told Javier the truth?” I asked slowly, weighing each expression that crossed his face.
Mainly, all I saw was pain. Where before he’d hidden it well, now it washed over him in a flood of emotions.
He opened his mouth, but whatever he meantto say caught in his throat. Meeting my eyes, he nodded and mouthed, “I understand.”
“Once he joins the military school, he’ll learn what it takes to be a warrior,” I said, my words far more hopeful than what I felt. “He’ll understand then that you were only following orders. I tried to explain to him that it’s what a warrior does.”
He flexed his jaw like he was grinding back words he wasn’t yet ready to speak. It took a few beats but when he spoke, his words were measured. Not calm but as if he were containing his emotions that might shatter if he wasn’t careful. “He has no reason to trust me around his sisters. I’m happy they will continue to stay with you, though. They love you and Teddy. I can live with his decision. I must live with his decision, but it’s easier knowing the girls are taken care of.”
“They love you too, George.”
Tears shimmered behind his eyes, and I stayed quiet as he stared at the sky. When liquid fell down a single cheek, I wasn’t certain if it was from the snow that fell or a tear that had managed to break loose.
