Page 135 of A Fate of Blood and Magic
He flinched at my words. “Don’t say that.”
It was true, though. I’d seen the way she watched him, the way her emotions warred across her face because of him. She loved him. The problem was, she also loved Etienne.
“She doesn’t love me.” He stopped walking to stare up at the sky, letting the sun bathe his face as he gazed through the few tree limbs that hung above us and took a deep breath. “She doesn’t choose me.” His words came out small and defeated. “Cierra has a shifter friend she wants to introduce me to. Her mate passed on a few years ago, but she thinks we might get along. I’m supposed to meet Cierra and her at the tavern tonight. Will you and Elias go with me?”
My hold on his arm tightened, but then he wrapped his arms around me to bring me in for a hug, where he rested his chin on my head.
My heart kicked up in speed at the thought of going to the tavern, of being surrounded by so many people.
“The tavern?” I asked, noting the hint of fear that laced those two words.
But the tavern was a large establishment that could house hundreds of people. People I didn’t know who could want to harm us. Whocouldharm us.
Would the protective barrier Alastor and I had put in place be enough to protect us? What if we’d missed something while casting the spell? What if . . .
Fear crashed into me, pulling me under as my anxiety took root and flooded me.
I didn’t want to go.
I put a hand over my belly, knowing I didn’t want to chance putting them in danger again. But I also didn’t want to live in fear of all thewhat-ifsthat may never happen.
I was alive. We were alive, and we couldn’t stop living out of fear of dying.
“Of course we’ll go,” I said, proud of the steady rhythm of my words.
“I think everyone’s going, or at least Ry, Donnie, and Nate are,” he said, his chin digging into the top of my head. “I don’t know how long they’ll stay but Donnie’s bored and wants to get out for a little while. I’ll see if Everly and George want to go too.”
Through the help of modern medicine and the magic from various healers, Donnie had improved enough that he was once again living in the house he shared with Ryenne and Nate. I fought back the apprehensive thoughts that told me hewasn’t well enough to hang out. If we had another attack and he inhaled even more of the magical smoke, his lungs wouldn’t be healed enough to fend it off.
Then there was George and Everly. I rubbed my chest. Elias and I had hurt them just as I was going to hurt Brenton, but before I could tell him about my shortened life span, I needed to tell him about Javier.
I sighed. “Javier knows how his dad died.” Tears immediately started to fall. “He moved to Alastor’s until he can join the military school. He doesn’t want George around the girls. I-we haven’t seen either of them since.”
“I’m sorry.” He held me tighter against him. “I’ll talk to Javi.”
I shook my head. “He has every right to hate us.”
“He’s lost so much, but I know, deep down, he’ll never hate you,” Brenton countered.
And maybe that was what made it worse. Not only had he learned to trust us, but he had come to love us. Would that be enough, though? Could he still love us despite hating the truth?
“If he’ll see you, then let him talk to you,” I said, my voice hitching with every tear that continued to fall. “Be there for him the way you were there for me. Don’t—will you just be there for him?” I could only hope Javier let him.
He kissed my forehead. “You know I will. He knows how much you love him. He’ll come back to you when he’s processed everything.”
Maybe he would . . . but probably he wouldn’t.
“Can you bring the kids if George goes to the tavern?”
“I don’t know. Javi’s letting the girls stay with us. I don’t want to upset him by going against something he said he didn’t want.” I forced some levity into my tone andwrinkled my nose. “You know, back in my realm, kids and taverns don’t mix.”
He dropped his hand over my shoulders, and when he started walking again, I followed. By the light way he carried himself, I knew he would let me get away with changing the subject.
“That’s because humans don’t know how to have fun.”
“Good thing I’m a mage then,” I said, forcing a smile I didn’t feel when he chuckled. “I’ll make sure to tell Ryenne how boring she is.”
Raising his brows, he pursed his lips. “Does Ryenne or any of them know what you and Elias gave up to save Donnie?”
