Page 80 of Yours to Lose
Jordan slides a hand down my leg, gripping the back of my thigh and bringing my leg up to wrap around his hip. With his mouth still devouring me, he rolls his hips in a way that has his hard cock gliding right over my clit. He groans, and the shot of pleasure is so sharp and so sudden that the moan escapes before I realize it. My body flushes hot as I try and choke it back.
“Don’t do that,” Jordan grits out, grinding against me and pressing hot, wet kisses along my jaw and to the spot behind my ear that makes me crazy. He knows it, too, because when I shiver, he chuckles, and the sound has arousal swimming in my blood.
“Do what?”
“Hold back your sounds. Your sounds are mine, Hurricane, and I want every single one of them tonight.”
Jordan pushes a hand into my hair and slants his mouth back over mine as he slides his other hand higher on my thigh. His fingertips dip into the leg of my shorts, gliding along the seam of my underwear, and suddenly all myslow has never really been my speedtalk from earlier is coming back to bite me in the ass. Never have I ever felt more inexperienced in my life than when faced with the sexiest man alive in front of me, kissing me like the world is ending, his fingers inches from my clit.
I have stupidly little experience when it comes to sex, and none of it very good. For the first time in the months we’ve been hanging out, I feel every single day of our age difference, and I do not love that for me.
I want him with a desperation that borders on complete madness, and at the same time, I have almost no idea what to do with him.
I am entirely out of my depth.
Jordan must notice that my head has left the chat because he pulls back, his face a mask of concern. He cups my cheek with one hand, stroking my face with his thumb. “What’s wrong, Jo Jo?”
The tears fill my eyes out of nowhere.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. No.
Panic lances through me as I blink rapidly, trying to stave off the tears and pull myself together. It’s no use. The tears have decided to come, and they will not be deterred. So naturally, I take the most mature, adult path available to me.
Ducking out from under Jordan’s arm, I take two running steps and leap face first into my bed, rolling so my comforter wraps around me like a burrito.
This is when he leaves. The moment he decides my crazy is just too much crazy. It’s the path every relationship I’ve ever had has taken, so why not this one too?
Except not this one apparently, because as I sniffle pathetically inside my blanket burrito, the bed dips and I feel Jordan stretch out next to me.
“Hey, Hurricane?”
“Yeah?” I ask, my voice muffled from the blankets.
“You want to come out of there and talk to me?”
“I can’t. Just let me die of humiliation in peace. I live here now.”
Jordan laughs, like he finds this all extremely amusing. Hot, gorgeous jerk. “Well, if you’re not coming out, can I come in?”
I pause, considering this. “You want to come inside my blanket burrito?”
“I mean, that’s where you are, and I really like being where you are.”
My chest inflates at that, and if I wasn’t weighed down by blankets and the feel of Jordan’s hand running up and down my side, I might just float away. No one has ever offered to sit with me in my crazy before. Every person I’ve ever dated has run away from it after a while, and Jordan doing the opposite of that has my heart leaping straight out of my body, busting through the layers of blankets and landing right in his hands.
I roll away from Jordan just enough to unwrap myself a little and hold up the edge of the blanket. He is so freaking perfect with his hair all messy from my hands and his lips a little swollen from kissing me, and my heart gives a painful thump, as if to say,let me at him. Jordan gives me a wink and a smirk that has my underwear practically incinerating, and then, in the sexiest move of all time, he rolls us both so I’m on his other side facing him, and we’re in a blanket burrito for two.
He reaches up and tucks some loose hair behind my ear, leaving his hand on my cheek. His eyes are deep pools of blue as they study my face. “So, you want to tell me what that was all about?”
My sigh is dramatic because, apparently, I can’t resist being extra, even when I’m having an existential crisis. “Okay, so the thing is, I don’t have, like, a ton of experience with sex. I’m not a virgin or anything, it’s just that my experience is…limited.”
Jordan just nods, like he’s waiting for me to continue. Like he knows there’s more, and he’s settling in for all of it. I fall just a little deeper.
“It’s not for lack of trying. It’s mostly that anyone I’ve ever dated has always thought it was kind of a novelty to date the cute, quirky girl who does wild things like take you on scavenger hunts in the middle of the night. Except there always comes a point where they discover that this isn’t some hilarious persona I’m adopting for a while; this is actually who I am, and when faced with dealing with my crazy long term, they lose interest fast, and then they’re gone. And yeah, I guess it stings a little, but also, this is who I am, and I like me, so it’s whatever. But the irritating part is that they always figure it out right around the time we should be getting naked. I wish I had gone through a slutty phase in college, but I was too busy being the weird girl who took paleontology classes and went on spring break trips to archaeological digs in Argentina. So now, here I am, twenty-eight years old, lying here with the hottest man in the cosmos, and instead of getting naked with you, we’re laying in a blanket burrito discussing my embarrassing lack of sexual experience.”
Jordan smirks at me and runs a thumb over my bottom lip. It’s all so devastatingly sexy that I want to die. And also climb him like a tree. “Hottest man in the cosmos, huh?”
I snort. “Please. You know what you look like. You’re perfect.”
