Page 20 of Yours to Lose
“Uh, okay, that was definitely a laugh, but we live to fight another day. Anyway, turns out you’re completely in luck, because I’m here to save you from a life of monotony.”
He turns his head, giving me an appraising look. “And how are you planning on doing that?”
“By moving to New York and helping you have the best summer of your life.”
Jordan coughs and sputters, and the look on his face is filled with so much horror that I collapse into manic laughter on the bench, tears streaming down my face. “Simmer down, J,” I manage through my giggles. “I’m not, like, stalking you to New York or anything. I’m definitely moving there, but for my job, and just for the summer.”
He eyes me dubiously, like he doesn’t believe I’m not following him to New York, bunny boilingFatal Attractionstyle, so I pull my phone out of my bag. Unlocking the screen, I open the email I got from my new temporary boss, Monica, after I accepted the job this morning and hand him the phone. “Seriously, look. A whole formal offer letter and everything. Three months at the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan, an apartment on the Upper West Side, and the opportunity to plan the museum program of my dreams.”
“I live on the Upper West Side,” Jordan mumbles, handing my phone back. I flash him a grin.
“We’ll be neighbors! Get ready because I haven’t been to New York for more than a short trip here and there since I graduated college. I have so much I want to do, and you’re doing it with me.”
He shifts on the bench, a little uncomfortably. “I don’t do a lot outside of going to work and coming home.”
I shake my head, giving him a disappointed look. “That’s just sad. New York City is the best place in the world, and summer is its favorite season. Here,” I say, handing him my phone. “Put your number in. I’ll call you when I get to the city, and we can plan our summer. I’ll be there the week before Memorial Day. Like, six-ish weeks from now.”
To my surprise, he takes it and enters his number, then hands it back to me. I think he mostly just doesn’t know what to do with me. I type out a quick text and send it. Two seconds later, his phone dings. “Now you have my number too. Feel free to use it if you ever feel like talking. Texting isn’t my favorite, but you don’t seem like much of a phone talker, so I’ll make an exception for you since we’ll be New York besties.”
He looks at me, eyes serious. “Jo, I don’t know what it is you’re looking for here, but I don’t want…I mean I can’t…” He trails off, looking so distressed that I lay a hand over his, ignoring the jolt, feeling him flinch, his eyes flying up to mine. When I speak, I keep my voice quiet.
“I’m not looking for anything—I swear it. We’ll both be alone in New York this summer. Maybe instead of being alone, we could do some things together. I just want to be your friend, Jordan. I think maybe you could use one of those.”
For a second, I think maybe I’ve overstepped. Maybe I didn’t really see the loneliness in him I thought I saw. But then Jordan sighs, giving me a nod so small it’s practically imperceptible, but it’s there all the same.
I smile and take back my hand. “Good. So now that we’re friends, can I ask you a question?”
“If I said no, would you ask anyway?”
I smile. “Probably.”
Jordan swings one leg over the bench so he’s straddling it and facing me fully. “Do your worst.”
“Why were you sitting on that bench just staring up at the museum without going inside?”
He winces. “It’s stupid.”
“I really bet it’s not.”
Jordan clasps his hands together and looks down at them. “There’s this thing I used to do. With Allie.”
He looks up at me, as if he wants to gauge my reaction to him saying his dead fiancée’s name, and I wonder briefly how many people have made him feel uncomfortable for mentioning her over the last two years. I instantly hate every single one of them. I give him a smile I hope is encouraging, and I think it works because he continues.
“We’re both surgeons, so our lives and jobs were constantly insane. Our shifts didn’t always line up, and we were sometimes on completely opposite schedules, so it was really hard to find time to go out together, especially in the early days. One morning when we first started dating, Allie was finishing a night shift and I was about to start on days, but I was early. I had about an hour, so I got in the car with her, and we started driving. It was like six in the morning and everything was closed, but somehow, we ended up here. Allie told me she liked the dinosaur out front and liked to drive by to see what scarf he was wearing. So, I guess it kind of became our thing. Even when we just had a little time between shifts, we would come here and check on the scarf. Sit on that bench if we had time.”
He shrugs, looking down at his hands, a sheepish expression on his face. “I got in the car today, and it just kind of drove itself here.”
I smile softly, my heart aching for this lovely man who lost so much. The helper in me is already making a list of all the different ways I’m going to make his life sparkle again.
“Dippy’s the best.”
“Who?” He looks up at me with a furrowed brow.
“Dippy? The dinosaur you just told me was an integral part of your life for a not insignificant amount of time.”
“He has a name?”
I stare at him, incredulously. “Uh, of course he has a name. He’s the most famous dinosaur in the entire world, Jordan. Did you really not know anything about him in all the years you came to visit him?”
