Page 26 of Yours to Lose
I don’t know what possesses me to tell them the truth, but all of a sudden, it’s pouring out of my mouth. The rock room and Dippy and the little scarves and the homework assignments and Jo’s insistence that we be best friends this summer and National Lost Sock Memorial Day. It’s probably the most words I’ve spoken at once in two years, but I can’t deny the comfort and familiarity of being sprawled around my apartment, eating morning bagels with my brothers and talking about my life.
Fuck, is this what healing feels like?
“You like her.” Elliot’s voice is quiet while he studies me with an appraising gaze.
“I don’t,” I say quickly. “Not like that.”
“You know it would be okay, right?” Cooper says gently. “If you did like her like that.”
I shake my head, my brain immediately rejecting the notion, and I rub my hand over the ache that forms in my chest. Grief? Fear? Anger? Loss? I have no idea what the ache means, but I’m not in the mood to explore it right now. For lack of anything better to do, I pick up my coffee mug and drain it, wishing the kitchen wasn’t so far away. I really need more caffeine.
“Okay, well at least we know what we’re doing today.” Noah slaps his thighs with his open hands and stands up. “Get dressed boys; we’re leaving in ten.”
“Leaving to do what?” I ask.
Noah looks at me with anare you for realexpression. “Leaving to go to Times Square so you can pick out the most insane pair of socks you can find.”
I roll my eyes. “We’re not.”
Elliot stands too. “Oh, yes, we are. She was nice enough to send you a gift card. You’re going to spend it and do exactly what she asked you to do.”
Cooper leans over and lays a hand on my shoulder. “It doesn’t matter if you like her like that or not. She made you smile, Jordan. That’s enough.”
Without any reason not to, I stand and help clean up, and then I get dressed and let my brothers take me to Times Square. Because Cooper was right. Jo did make me smile. Even if it was only once, and even just for a second, it was exactly, perfectly enough.
* * *
Me
[Picture attached of feet wearing socks covered in Oreos]
Jo
A+, both on the socks and the snack choice. Oreos are the absolute perfect cookie.
Me
[Picture attached of socks covered in Fireballs]
For you.
Jo
No way! I love a present. And Fireballs.
Me
You love everything. And if I’m wearing ridiculous socks, you are too.
[picture attached of the Wyles brothers with the Naked Cowboy]
Jo
PROUD FRIEND ALERT. Oh, my god, Jordan! This is amazing. I love that you made your brothers get in the picture.
Me
You have that backwards. They forced me into it, and now I need to shower for ten years.
