Page 61 of It's Always Been You
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Can you come with me to visit my parents?”
“To the cemetery?”
I nod, and Molly’s eyes soften.
“Of course, I can. But why would you think that’s a big ask?”
“Because I haven’t been to the cemetery since their funeral.”
I expect Molly to look surprised, but she doesn’t. She just looks curious. “Why not?”
I shrug a shoulder because the answer is both simple and very, very complicated. “At first, I didn’t have the time or the headspace to go. Everything was such a mess, and I was just trying to get from one day to the next. But even after things settled down, I stayed away. Every time I thought about going, Ijust couldn’t make myself do it. It’s ridiculous, I know, because the life I was living—raising my sisters, not having you—was all because they died. My entire life was one big reminder of their death. But it was like if I didn’t go to their graves, then I could almost convince myself they weren’t really gone.”
My voice breaks a little on the last word and I blow out a breath, looking away for a second to pull myself together. Except Molly doesn’t let me. She puts a hand on my cheek and turns my head back towards her. She studies me for a second, then leans forward and wraps her arms around me, holding tight. My breath gusts out, and I wind my arms around her waist, burying my face in her hair and taking comfort from her familiar scent and the way her body feels pressed against mine.
“It’s stupid,” I murmur into her ear.
“It’s really not,” she says, carding her fingers through my hair in a comforting rhythm. “It’s been your way of protecting yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that. So why now?”
I pull back just enough to see Molly’s face, keeping my hands on her, my thumbs drawing circles over her waist. Her hands drift over my shoulders and down my arms, her touch grounding me.
“Because it’s time. I want to let that part of me go. I’ll never stop missing them or wishing they were still here. Wishing their deaths didn’t cause a chain reaction that broke us and hurt you and left my sisters and me floundering for so long, trying to build a life without them. But we’re all still here. My sisters are thriving. I can do and be and have whatever I want. And all I want is you. To have you. To be yours. It’s time for me, Rory. It’s time for me to say goodbye to them for real, so I can live this next part of my life in the best way I know how. For me, but for you too. For us. So we can be something new. Something now. I want everything with you. It doesn’t have to be now, but one day. It’suseless to pretend I don’t. I can’t pretend. All I want is you,” I say again.
Molly leans forward and brushes her lips over mine, then brings our foreheads together, sliding her hands around my neck. I close my eyes, love for her rushing through me strong and true. I could lie to myself and say it’s the remnants of ten years ago love, but I’ve always been a shit liar. I love her, right here and right now. It’s the enormous, wild, forever kind of love. Molly Jenkins is my forever. I know it with more certainty than I’ve ever known anything in my life. I hope one day I get to be her forever too.
“I want you too. I’ve never not wanted you. Even when I hated you, I wanted you.”
I chuckle a little, despite the heaviness of the moment. “Look at us, talking about our feelings. We are adulting so hard right now.”
Molly smiles. “Let’s adult a little more and go visit your parents. I think they’ll be happy to see you.”
Emotion clogs my throat, and all I can do is nod. With eyes full of understanding, Molly picks up one of my hands, pressing a kiss to my knuckles before pulling me up off the couch. She turns to pick up the dress and all her stuff but before she can, I tug her back to me, wrapping her in one more hug.
“Thank you,” I mumble.
“Anything, Gabe. Always.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Molly
Hallie
Mol, how’s going?
Julie
Hallie, are you psychic? I was just about to send the same text.
Emma
It doesn’t count as psychic when the three of us just had a conversation wondering how Molly is doing.
Me
Holy shit, you guys. I mean, actually, holy motherfucking shit.
Julie
