Page 35 of It's Always Been You
I’m scared.
I’m happy.
What now?
How did I ever live without you?
Am I still yours?
Are you still mine?
I missed you.
I loved you.
“You are so beautiful, Rory.” Gabe’s voice is a reverent whisper, and he leans forward, setting a hand on my hip and kissing my cheek. The heat of his hand seeps through my dress, and I have the wild thought that if I had him, I would never be cold again. And that is absolutely not a thought that will keep my shield intact. I reach for the irreverent attitude I use as a defense mechanism. I know it won’t last. Not with Gabe. But at least I can buy myself some time while I figure all this out.
I flash him a grin. “You clean up nice. I always did like when you wore blue. Although I have to say, I miss the superhero T-shirts when you dress like an adult.”
He grins right back. “I know you do.”
Without another word, he reaches down and lifts up the bottom of his sweater. I get a quick flash of cut abs before he tugs down the T-shirt he’s wearing under the sweater, showing me the Superman logo on the chest.
I laugh and feel all the tension between us drop away. “I’m more of a Marvel girl myself, but I’ll allow it.”
“When was the last time you watched the movies?” he asks, tugging his sweater back down.
I meet his eyes again. “Ten years ago.”
He swallows hard, pain flashing through his eyes so quickly that if I wasn’t watching closely, I would have missed it.
“Well, I’ll just have to catch you up then. There are shows now too.” His voice is a little ragged, like the idea that I avoided something that belonged so wholly to us after he left me for so many years shreds him. And that shreds me.
“I think I’d like that,” I say, reaching out and touching his hand. He flips his hand around immediately, linking our fingers together, and warmth flows up my arm.
“What else are fake fiancés for?” he asks, recovering some of his usual cheer.
I huff out a laugh. “I knew you had to be good for something.”
“Oh, I’ll be so good at so many things, Rory baby. You aren’t ready for it.” Gabe winks at me. “Ready to go to dinner?”
The wink has heat searing through me, and I’m feeling a little whiplashed from all the emotions of the past ten minutes.
“Sure, take me to dinner.”
With his free hand, he flicks open the biggest umbrella I’ve ever seen and holds it out so we can both get under it. I take a deep breath and step forward so I’m next to him. He drops my hand and wraps an arm around my shoulders, and together, we walk into the pouring rain.
“Mr. Sullivan, we’re so happy to have you and your fiancée dining with us tonight.” Hearing the word fiancée from a stranger shakes me a little. It’s confirmation that we’re reallydoing this, and it all happened so fast that I still don’t know exactly how I feel about it. But what shakes me even more is the hot flash of jealousy I feel when the hostess gives Gabe a sultry smile, sweeping her gaze down his body and back up.
Mine.
The thought is sudden and startling because Gabe isn’t mine. He hasn’t been mine for a long time. I don’t even know if I ever want him to be mine again. Okay, that’s a lie. I do want him to be mine. I just haven’t decided yet whether that’s the right choice for either of us. Even so, I can’t help but enjoy the fact that Gabe’s only reaction is a polite smile and the tightening of his arm around my waist, where it’s been since he came to open my door and help me out of the car. And where it stays as she leads us to our table right in the center of the fancy restaurant.
I can feel every eye on us as we walk through the room. While I’ve never been one to shy away from attention, this feels voyeuristic. Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I see someone take a picture, and my skin crawls with discomfort even as I square my shoulders and school my face into a neutral expression.
“I am so sorry, Rory,” Gabe says as soon as we’re seated at a table right in the middle of the restaurant. The table is small enough that if we both leaned in, our foreheads would practically be touching, and our feet keep knocking against each other. Being this close to him has all my senses on alert, and that, combined with all the not so veiled attention we’re getting, has me practically vibrating. I’m going for nonchalant, but I wonder what my face actually looks like because he looks at me with concern. “I didn’t think before I made a reservation. I’m used to getting noticed, but you’re not.”
“It’s fine,” I say, forcing my eyes to stay on Gabe’s while the back of my neck prickles with the feeling of being watched. “It’sgood practice, I guess. This is your life, and while we’re faking this, I guess I have to get used to everyone knowing my name.”
