Page 57 of Because of You
“I mean, sex has never felt like that for me. Has it for?—”
“No,” I say, not even letting her finish her sentence. “Never. It’s never been like that for me, either.”
I lean down and kiss her again and then untangle myself from her. “Be right back.” I go into the bathroom, clean myself up, and then wet a towel with warm water. I take it back to the bed and use it to clean Hallie up and toss it into the hamper in the corner of the room. I lift Hallie up, lay her down on the pillows, and then climb in next to her. I drag the comforter over both of us and then gather her into me so that her head is pillowed on my shoulder, both of my arms around her. I smile as she tosses a leg over me, inching herself even closer.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Hallie says, her voice thick with exhaustion. “Clean me up like that, I mean. I could have done it myself.”
“I did,” I say, matter-of-factly. “I will never not take care of you.”
“I like being taken care of,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. “No one ever thinks I need it, but I do. I just don’t know how to ask.” Then she nuzzles her face deeper into my neck and drops into sleep.
I lay there for a long time, holding on to Hallie, my heart squeezing at her admission. I know what it cost her to say those words, even half asleep.
Tangled up naked in my bed with the girl of my dreams, I make a silent vow to take care of her for the rest of my life, to give her everything she needs before she ever has to ask.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Hallie
The rest of our two weeks at the lake pass in a blur of bonfires, lake swims, time with my friends, and nights spent with Ben in one of our beds, wrapped up in each other. I thought I’d had good sex before, but it turns out I didn’t know what I was talking about. I had no idea sex could be like this, but now that I’ve had it, I can’t get enough.
Which is why, after driving home from the lake in my car with Julie, dropping her off, and then coming home and unpacking, I pick up my phone. I turn it over in my hands while I consider texting Ben. It feels weird. Like, I should be able to spend a night alone, right? I like being alone most of the time.
But then my mind wanders to all our late nights at the lake, our time after everyone else had gone to sleep. Having all the good sex and eating all the snacks and talking for hours about nothing and everything. I think about Ben filling up my water cup every night without me having to ask and knowing how I wanted my coffee every morning in that weirdly clairvoyant way of his. And how he was always touching me in some way—his hand on my back or his arm around my shoulders or stopping to drop a kiss on my head whenever he walked past me.
Ben has been a part of my life in one way or another since I was born, and I thought we knew everything there was to know about each other. But for the past two weeks, it was like I was getting to know him for the first time. It was a time out of time where we didn’t have anything to do or anywhere to be. Where I took a break from my angst over potentially upending my entire personal and professional life and my constant worry over where I fit in with my friends and family.
Instead, Ben and I learned every inch of each other’s bodies and whispered secrets across our pillows. My feelings for him grew frighteningly fast. I may not always be sure of my place with everyone else in my life, but it’s clear to me after these last two weeks that the place I absolutely fit is with him. Being around Ben makes my heart feel like it’s too big for my chest. Like I could do anything or be anything as long as he is with me. He makes me want to open myself up and tell him every thought in my head, secure in the belief that he is a soft place for me to lay my secrets.
A knock on the door jolts me out of my reverie. I open it and Ben is there, leaning on my door frame, a take-out bag in his hand, a smile on his face, and his blue eyes sparkling.
“Hey, Hal. I missed your face, so I brought dinner. Figured your refrigerator was as empty as mine.”
“How are you even real?” I mutter.
He just smirks at me from his perch against my door frame, wearing athletic shorts, a white T-shirt, and a backwards baseball hat and looking hot as fuck. I suddenly have the wild urge to run my tongue over every inch of his body. I grab the take-out bag from his hand and put it on the floor. Then I pull him inside, shove the door closed, and reach up and wrap my hands around his neck, fastening my mouth to his. He wastes no time gripping my hips and tugging me even closer. I break the kiss and drop my hands to push his shorts and underweardown, so they drop to the floor together. Ben’s already hard cock springs up against his stomach and my mouth waters.
“I need to taste you, I just…need to.”
He steps out of his clothes and kicks them away, then looks at me. His body is ridiculous. The cut muscles of his abs and the deep V pointing straight down to his cock make me want to run my hands over every inch of him. Whatever Ben sees on my face has his eyes darkening and his cock twitching against his stomach. He reaches behind him and pulls his shirt off, tossing it to the ground along with his hat. Then he gives me a sexy grin.
“Well, then get on your knees, Hallie girl.”
Still shocked and aroused by his uncharacteristic dominance, I am instantly damp between my legs. I drop to my knees in front of him and pump his hard length twice before leaning forward and swirling my tongue around him, licking up the drop of precum already beading on his tip. His salty taste explodes in my mouth, and it is like a shot straight to my clit. I wrap one hand around his base and slide down his cock, taking as much of him into my mouth as I can. I drift the other hand up his thigh and around to his ass, gripping as I suck.
“Fuck,” Ben mutters, gathering my hair up, guiding me with a firm grip as I bob my head up and down, taking him a little deeper every time. When he bumps the back of my throat and I gag around him, he lets out a throaty groan and then reaches down and pulls me to my feet.
“No. Nope. No. As much as I love having you choke on my cock, and god, Hallie, I fucking do, I want to come inside of you, right where I belong. I haven’t been there nearly enough.”
My rational brain still tries to square the Ben I have known all my life with the confident, dirty talking man in front of me. But wherever this part of Ben was buried, I am all the way here for it.
“Well, then do it, Benji.”
“You got it, Hallie girl.” Ben slams his mouth to mine, curling his tongue around mine while he pushes my shorts and underwear down my legs. He pulls back long enough to tear my shirt over my head and then dives right back in, his kiss rough and needy and so damn hot. Ben walks us backward into the living room until the back of my knees hit the couch. Then, he spins us and falls back into it, pulling me down on top of him, his mouth never leaving mine as he runs his hands over my ass. His fingers drift down my crease as he pushes one of his knees between mine, nudging my legs apart and dipping his fingers inside me while he groans.
“You are fucking drenched for me, Hallie.”
I lift my head and smirk at him. “Sucking your cock turns me all the way on.”
