Page 60 of Because of You
I rush through my shower and then pull on the clothes I brought into the bathroom with me so that I wouldn’t wake Ben up trying to get dressed in my room. I do some quick makeup, pull my hair back in a ponytail, and call it good enough. Butwhen I open the bathroom door, prepared to slink out of my room, my bed is empty, and I smell coffee.
God, this man.
He is standing at the stove, his back to me, when I walk into the kitchen. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist, laying my lips on the center of his back.
“You didn’t have to get up, you know.”
He covers my hands with one of his, then turns his head and kisses my temple. “You need to be fed and caffeinated for this meeting.”
“I can feed and caffeinate myself, Benji. I’ve been doing it for years.
He turns all the way around, pressing a kiss to my mouth and then to my forehead.
“Nope, Hallie girl. I take care of what’s mine. Go sit down.” He hands me a cup of coffee and then turns back around to flip the omelet he has cooking.
What’s mine.
It’s not the first time he has called me his. But something about him saying it while he makes me breakfast and hands me the exact coffee with vanilla creamer that I had been thinking about while I was in the shower has butterflies swarming in my stomach. They swarm as I eat breakfast with Ben, chatting idly about what’s going to happen at my meeting and the conversation he’s going to have with his dad. And they swarm when Ben gives me a searing kiss at my front door before I leave. And they swarm when he sends me off with a grin, a second perfectly made coffee in a to go cup, a fresh tumbler of ice water for the road, and two mini-Reese’s cups for luck.
Callahan is a small family law firm that has been in business in Pittsburgh for more than forty years. Charlie Callahan started it right after he finished law school, and for all those forty years, it has just been him, his long-time secretary Joan, two associates, and two paralegals. The firm is located in a building on Liberty Avenue in the older section of downtown, and it is vintage Pittsburgh at its finest. The building has a small lobby with mosaic tiled floors, a massive wooden old-school mailbox, and wood-paneled elevators with vintage elevator dials above each car.
While Charlie does a little bit of everything in family law, his practice is mostly centered around kids. He handles foster family situations, adoptions, and does a lot of work with child services. He is brilliant, dedicated, and unwaveringly kind. When I first met him during my family law clinic, I instantly fell in love both with him and with the law he practices. I would have loved to work for him after I graduated, but he didn’t have a position open. By the time he did during my second year at my firm, I was so dug into my estate planning practice I didn’t even consider leaving, settling instead for handling a pro bono adoption case here and there when I could manage it in between my wealthy and extremely high paying clients. And then when he had another opening during my fourth year, Julie, Emma, Molly, and I had started planning for our firm, so I turned it down again.
After talking it out with Ben and spending some time thinking about it, I see everything so clearly. When Charlie offered me a position the first time, I felt like I should stayat my firm because my clients and the partners I worked with depended on me, even though the work didn’t light a fire under me. And when he offered me a position the second time, I felt like I needed to stick with my friends, even though I had already started to suspect that maybe I didn’t want the same things they wanted anymore. Both times, I made my decision based on what made other people happy. I make a lot of decisions that way, and I am so tired of it. Being with Ben has made me see that what I want is important too, and I think I’m finally ready to make a change.
The thought of disappointing my friends weighs heavily. I don’t know how I will begin to have that conversation, but I want this life. I want to help these kids and these families, and I want to do it every day.
I step off the elevator to Joan’s smiling face. “Hallie, honey!” She gets up from her desk and wraps me in a hug. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I heard that the Caseys are doing so well. It’s such a good thing that you did.”
“It’s good to see you, Joan. The Caseys are doing great. Jen emailed me the other day with pictures of Maya from camp, where she is obviously having the time of her life.”
“I love that little girl to pieces. Charlie said to go right back to his office when you get here. He’s waiting for you. And don’t you dare leave here later without telling me every little thing that’s going on in your life.”
In addition to being Charlie’s metaphorical right hand, Joan is a consummate gossip. I grin at her. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Thanks, Joan.”
When I get to Charlie’s office, he is sitting behind his massive desk that is, per usual, covered in stacks of files.
“Nice bowtie, Charlie,” I say as I knock on the doorframe.
His face lights up when he sees me. With gray hair, kind eyes, a wide face that is always smiling, and a penchant for wearingwildly patterned bowties, Charlie has serious grandpa energy. It’s probably why he is so good at what he does.
“Hallie Evans, just the girl I have been waiting for.” Like Joan, he gets up and wraps me in a hug, then motions to the seating area in the corner of his office. Once we’re settled in, he asks, “Do you want to start or should I?”
“I’ll start.” Not sure what he wants to talk to me about, and knowing I’ll lose my nerve, I want to get it all out. He nods at me. I take a deep breath and start talking.
“I want to make a change, Charlie. I’ve felt…unsettled in my practice for a long time now. Like it’s just something I do, but I don’t have any passion for it. Even while I’ve been planning for my firm, it hasn’t felt right. I’ve kept moving forward because my friends and I have been making these plans for years and I committed to them, but my heart hasn’t been in it. Last month when I was at Maya’s adoption hearing, I realized that it’s this. This is what I want to do. You know I’ve always loved working for you on and off over the years, but it’s not enough anymore. I want to do it full time. I have no idea how to make it happen and what it will look like, but I figure that if anyone can help me, it’s you. So…yeah. That’s all of it. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”
Charlie has his thinking face on and doesn’t say anything for a minute, like he is collecting his thoughts. Then he breaks into a smile.
“Hallie, I wanted to talk to you because I’m retiring at the end of the year.”
I don’t think anything he could say would shock me more.
“Retiring? But, how? Why?”
God. Way to sound professional, Hallie.
“It’s time for me. I have been doing this for a long time, and even though it will probably kill me, I’m ready to say goodbye. My wife and I want to travel while we can, and I want to spend time with my kids and watch my grandkids grow up.”
