Page 52 of Because of You
“Yeah, man, why so slow? It’s almost like you’re old or something,” Jordan says as he jogs alongside me.
The three of us are out for a run along the lake. This has been an excellent morning, so I have energy to burn, and Jordan can run for hours barely breaking a sweat, but Jeremy is dragging ass today.
“Fuck you both. It’s fucking hot.”
I poke him in the ribs. “Weren’t you, like, a professional athlete or something once upon a time?”
“Yeah, on ice. Where it’s cold. And I’m not a professional athlete anymore,” he grumbles darkly. It’s a rare display of irritation for my normally upbeat best friend, so I am immediately on guard.
“You okay, man?”
“Fine. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“I absolutely do not. Anyway, I think we have more important things to talk about.”
“Fucking right, we do,” says Jordan, aiming a wide grin right at me. “You and Hallie. Spill it, Benj.”
“Yeah, Benj. Spill,” Jeremy mocks.
“You guys are worse than old ladies in a hair salon.”
“Yeah, but we’re your old ladies, so give us the goods, dude.”
I know they’ll never let up, so I just go with, “I told her.”
“You told her what?” asks Jeremy.
“Everything.”
They both stop running and turn to me.
“Like, everything, everything?” Jeremy stands with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
“Everything, everything. I told her I’ve had feelings for her since we were eighteen. I told her I want to give us a try and see what happens.”
Jordan lets out a low whistle. “Jesus, when you go big, you really go big. And what did she say?”
“She said she wants to try.”
“Fuck yes she did.” Jeremy stands up and swings an arm around my shoulders. “How do you feel?”
“Happy. A bit of disbelief. Scared shitless she’ll change her mind, or I’ll do something to screw it up. I don’t know. How the fuck are you supposed to feel when you kiss the girl of your dreams for the first time?”
“The first time I kissed Allie, I felt like I was about to either pass out or come in my pants like a teenager. So…maybe kind of like that?”
“Yeah, that’s about right. I don’t know. I kissed her, and it was like realizing a piece of me has been missing all this time, and I didn’t even know. I found it last night. Now that I know what we can be like together, I don’t think I’ll ever be right again without her. But that’s way too much fucking pressure to put on us when we’ve barely started.”
Jordan just shrugs. “So don’t put that pressure on it. I’ve known Hallie as long as I’ve known you, and I’ve never seen her smile the way she did this morning. So obviously, it felt right toher, too. Just go with it. See what happens. You’ve been waiting eleven years, and you’ve finally got your girl. Just enjoy it. Take it one day at a time.”
He’s right. I know he’s right. I have to smother my instinct to go from zero to sixty and dump my feelings all over Hallie before she’s ready for them. She needs time to catch up. But now that the lid I’ve kept on those feelings for all these years has been loosened, it wants to blow all the way off.
I scrub my hands over my sweaty face. “Fuck. Yeah, you’re right. One day at a time.”
“From the look on Hallie’s face this morning, I think you did more than just kiss her. Don’t think we’re going to let that pitch sail by.” Jordan might be the champion shit-stirrer of the group, but when Jeremy is in the right mood, he gives Jordan a run for his money.
“Oh yeah, looked like you brought your A-game straight to Hallie’s room last night.”
