Page 50 of Because of You
Hannah grins at me. “Hallie, I think later is now.”
“Definitely now. I love a sexy breakfast story,” Jo adds.
“Oh, it’s sexy,” says Molly.
My buoyant mood from earlier this morning starts to melt away. Telling the girls in my room this morning was one thing—that was fun—but having everyone’s eyes on me like this is making my skin crawl. Like always, Ben seems to know exactly what is going on in my head. He stands suddenly, tugging me with him.
“None of your business, assholes.” He directs this to everyone sitting around the table but says it with a smirk. “Now if you don’t mind, my girl and I are going to sit by the pool.”
Everyone seems stunned silent by the “my girl,” so Ben takes the opportunity to grab my hand and pull me out the sliding glass door to the deck.
When we get outside, Ben leads me off the deck and around the corner of the house where we can stand in relative privacy. He leans against the side of the house and pulls me into his arms. My heartbeat immediately slows.
“You okay, Hallie girl?”
“I’m fine.” And it turns out that it’s actually true. Standing here with Ben like this, I really am fine. Even after that little inquisition.
“You sure?”
“I’m really sure.” I lean my head on his chest and the rhythm of his heartbeat soothes every inch of me. It occurs to me that I am never as calm around others as I am around him and that it’s been that way my entire life. It feels like the roots for whatever is happening between us now were dug into me the same way they were into him, and I just never noticed. I find I like that thought. That maybe whatever this is has been inside me just as long. It explains why the rapid rearranging of our lifelong friendship feels so right, even among a kitchen full of nosy friends.
“You don’t…regret it? Last night? That was a lot back in the kitchen.”
Surprised, I pull back so I can look at him. The insecurity I see on his face is so uncharacteristic of Ben that I suddenly want badly to reassure him. I grab both of his hands.
“Last night was amazing, Ben. I don’t regret any part of it. I didn’t love being the center of attention, but that doesn’t have anything to do with last night. I really liked last night. All of it.”
“And you’re sure you’re okay with everyone knowing? I guess it’s too late if you’re not, but if you’re uncomfortable, I want you to tell me. I want you to tell me everything. I know sharing your feelings isn’t really your thing, but I hope you’ll try with me. You’re safe with me, Hal.”
God, this man. I have never felt safe enough to tell anyone everything in my entire life, and somehow, he just knows. In this moment, I would walk through fire for him.
“Yeah, Benji, I’m definitely okay with everyone knowing.” Reaching up, I circle my arms around his neck, stand on my tiptoes, and lay my lips on his. He reacts instantly, reversing our positions so that my back is pressed against the side of the house. He pulls back for a second, his gaze full of heat and arousal. Then he brings one hand up and tucks my hair behind my ear, trailing his finger down along my jaw.
“There she is,” he whispers, before sealing his mouth over mine. His tongue glides over my lower lip, and I open for him, tangling our tongues together. Ben moves one hand to my waist and wraps the other hand around my neck in a gesture of possession that shoots a bolt of need straight through me. This kiss is different from the ones we shared last night. Those were full of shock and heat and frenzy. This kiss is slow and needy and feels like worship. It shakes me to my core and makes me ache with the rightness of it all. As Ben’s mouth moves over mine, I have the wild thought that I never want to kiss anyone else, ever again, for as long as I live.
“Well, now what do we have here?”
At the sound of Rachel’s voice, Ben and I break apart, startled. I quickly push myself off the house, my first instinct to move my body as far away from Ben’s as possible. So extremely cool, Hallie. Very “teenage girl caught kissing a boy” energy.
But Ben doesn’t let me go anywhere. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me into his side, turning us both to face his mom. Fabulous. Nothing to see here, Rachel. Just me, still in my pajamas, fresh off sharing a soul-shaking kiss with your son while leaning against the side of your house.
“Just a little kissing between friends, Ma. No big deal.”
She studies both of us, and I consider for a second what we must look like. Then I immediately stop considering it because I’m sure the answer is…like we were doing exactly what we were just doing. A wide smile breaks out over her face.
“No big deal my ass. Carry on.” She turns to walk back to the pool, calling over her shoulder, “Oh and Hallie, come talk to me when you’re done doing…whatever it is that you’re doing back there.”
When Rachel is gone, Ben and I are both quiet for a beat before we burst out laughing. We lean into each other and laugh until there are tears streaming down our faces. Then Ben grabs my face in both of his hands and kisses me hard, and I think maybe this is the best morning of my entire life.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Hallie
After our laughing fit, Ben and I decide that we have given our families and friends enough gossip for the morning. After one last searing kiss and a whispered promise of more later, Ben goes in search of the guys for a morning run, and I go to find Rachel. She is exactly where I assumed she would be—weeding the flower beds in the yard by the pool. I force my feet to move and give myself a little pep talk.
Nothing to be worried about, Hallie. This is Rachel. You love Rachel. She helped raise you. She taught you how to use a tampon when you got your period for the first time and your mom was out of town. You can talk to her about anything. No worries that she caught you practically dry humping her son against the side of her house just now. No worries at all.
Rachel looks up as I approach and kneel down beside her. I have a flash of nostalgia from all the times Rachel and I have talked while pulling weeds in her flower beds after Jules and I fought over some stupid thing as kids, when I came to the lake after my first boyfriend broke my heart when I was sixteen, when my sisters got on my nerves, or when I was frustrated because it felt like no one in my actual family understood me.Just like Ben, Rachel has always understood me. They may be the only two people who do.
